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Anorexic thinking??

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Anorexic thinking??

Postby Jellybeanery » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:20 am

Hello all. I'm awfully nervous making this post. :oops:

All of my life I have struggled with my weight. My weight is always fluctuating. No matter how thin I get, I still think I'm fat. I have been on so many diets, water fasts, or just days of nothing at all. I also have abused laxatives. Well, here I am now- actually fat. I have gained 50 lbs from my medication in 2 years and it is destroying me. My weight is all I think about. I have been trying to lose it for a year and it's just not coming off.

But what I'm really here about is the way I think. I think food is evil. I barely eat (think up to *mod edit* calories a day, that's with beverages included). Every time I eat, I instantly regret it and feel awful about myself. I think it's just going to make me fatter. I hardly ever want to go out because of the way I look. I'll avoid family parties because I don't want people to see how big I got. I obsess over it. I have used so many calorie counters and weight loss calculators to see how much I should be losing a week. But it's just not coming off no matter how hard I try. So I have made the decision to eat much less than I have been.

I guess I'm just looking for thoughts and opinions. Does this sound like an eating disorder of any kind? Or is it just disordered eating? I really can't explain how much I obsess over this. I even made an online journal here to complain about my weight issues because it's all I think about.

Many thanks.
Last edited by seabreezeblue on Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: exact calorie intake amount removed.. no further changes (:
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Re: Anorexic thinking??

Postby delonix » Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:51 pm

Dear Jellybeanery, if you ask me, you have taken a very dangerous decision, without consulting a doctor, to cut down on food even further. You are starving your body cells, which need energy to live and function properly. What if they start dying one by one? The resulting damage may be irreversible. So never take health related decisions on your own. Always consult a doctor first.
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Re: Anorexic thinking??

Postby delonix » Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:35 pm

Google and find out a medical weight loss center in your locality. It will provide a safe, reliable option for shedding pounds. Your bodily functions will be closely monitored throughout the program so that you remain safe. Not eating isn't the way to reduce weight.
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Re: Anorexic thinking??

Postby Jellybeanery » Wed Jul 12, 2017 5:39 pm

I know it's not safe, but I just have a bad relationship with food. And I don't even eat poorly- I eat eggs and salmon, veggies.. but after I eat I am full of guilt and regret and think I gained 5 lbs from eating. I just don't want to eat anymore. :cry: I know it's not normal to obsess about weight like this- my bf suggested I talk to someone about this, but I really don't want to. That's why I came here.

In the last 5 years I have had so many ups and downs, 5 hospital stays, a bipolar diagnosis, and a ton of side effects from all the medications I have been on. Now that I'm "stable" I'm left with being fat. I'm miserable. I just want to be thin again. I think if I was thin, all my problems would go away.

Sorry for the rant. I just don't know what to do. I don't have money for a weight loss clinic. My NP suggested I talk to my doctor about a possible weight loss program, but I don't know if my insurance would cover something like that, and my doctor never brought it up. A while ago my mom saw a dietitian and she said they weren't helpful. Plus, they had meat on the menu, and I don't eat meat.

Bottom line: I have tried eating healthy along with exercise, and have lost nothing. I feel I am out of options.
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Re: Anorexic thinking??

Postby mesome » Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:43 am

If you are using laxatives and cutting calories, yes, anorexic thinking. This actually can make you fat. Laxatives cause vitamin depletion, we all know that is bad. Do you know what else? When you have bad nutrition your body has to break down muscle to feed the body. NOT FAT but MUSCLE. Muscle grows slowly, starving the body even long periods in between meals can consume muscle. This will cause the body to store more fat long term. *mod edit*. *mod edit* Op you are falling in to a small area of this cycle in some ways. What you're doing with laxatives is bad. Your diet is not losing fat, it's losing muscle. Muscle is the main source of burning fat. You have it backwards. You need proper nutrition with every meal, and protein with every meal. Eating foods with out protein might also be part of the problem. You should be obsessing about getting proper nutrition to maintain muscle that will cause you to lose fat. That will break the negative cycle and produce results. It is a slow long process to grow muscle and keep it on, but lasts forever once you get there. For this to work, you must increase the amount of muscle on your body. The fat loss just happens while you sleep while your body is repairing the muscle to grow larger and stronger, it's just that easy. At some point the muscle burns through what you eat and you change the balance on your body, it starts to burn fat doing nothing. That won't ever happen with laxatives and starving *mod edit*. It's impossible to achieve with out eating properly and growing muscle. You are just doing the opposite of what you want to do and possibly leading down a road to do harm. Sorry I can't help you learn how to grow muscle and eat properly. But you have it wrong, to be thin you have to eat foods that keep muscle on your body. What you are doing is creating a cycle to lose muscle in the process, long term plan to gain fat. It's hard to take in, most people think eating healthy is still calories and that makes them fat. It isn't the cause unless it's obsessive eating. Sure sugar will make people fat. Worry more about eating enough nutrition to keep muscle on your body. Seek a professional in this area, maybe a personal trainer. Try it I think you will love the results. It's not the exercise that does it, it's the growing muscle that provides results. If you don't like the results you can go back to your current method which will strip your body of muscle. I don't think that's working too well. :)
Last edited by Snaga on Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: triggering language removed
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Re: Anorexic thinking??

Postby Jellybeanery » Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:17 pm

Just to clarify, I have been exercising. And I do eat, just not a lot. I eat all throughout the day, just small portions. And I'm vegan (was pescatarian, just converted). Although I get plenty of protein- I eat a lot of tofu and there is 10 g of protein in a 1/2 a cup.

My weight gain is from all of the medications I have been on. It has nothing to do with what/how much I eat, or how much/little exercise I get. In the past, I have lost 20 lbs just by eating less and that's w/o exercise.

My only concern was if this was in some way anorexic, because of the way I think. I'm going to be seeing a doctor soon and possibly get an appointment with a nutritionist.

Again- I have been doing everything right for a year, I am not dense. It is just not working.

I don't know what kind of triggering language you wrote that got mod edited, but I'm assuming it was insulting, and that's just not how you help you someone.
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Re: Anorexic thinking??

Postby mesome » Sun Sep 03, 2017 8:59 am

Jellybeanery wrote:My only concern was if this was in some way anorexic, because of the way I think. I'm going to be seeing a doctor soon and possibly get an appointment with a nutritionist.

Again- I have been doing everything right for a year, I am not dense. It is just not working.

I don't know what kind of triggering language you wrote that got mod edited, but I'm assuming it was insulting, and that's just not how you help you someone.


The Mod edited the post because I explained the process of something we can't talk about on here. We can't use words like calories, weight loss, any of that here or we get Mod edited. And while I just used those words it was in context to explain how something easily gets Mod edited so you would understand edits are done for other things. I think we would get banned if we wrote something insulting. I feel your frustration.
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