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Responsibility

Open Discussions about Anger and Anger Management.

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Responsibility

Postby ian37 » Thu Nov 07, 2019 7:58 pm

Hi. I am new to the forums and have a general question. I've only recently discovered how much repressed anger is deep within me having been built up since being abused as a child. This was not known until lately as because of an addiction I have always struggled with. The addiction has controlled me for so long. Part of that is being focused on it rather than anything else. I have hurt so many in the past emotionally and am tired of this cycle of loss. My current partner has to deal with anger now when things get tough. It continues to just get worse. I care about her so very much and worry it already happens to be driving her away. How much responsibility is with me in being better and what exactly should be shared? She is wonderful and wants to be my everything. I just am beyond broken and so much exists which needs to be worked out. I'm actually in the process of trying to finish a semi-autobiographical movie script which should help be healing in some way. So, I am trying to be positive and proactive within my recovery. It just is all a work in progress. Last night, I lashed out at her worse than ever. Doing wrong makes me isolate even further. Even though it is what I want last. I just lack feeling deserving. That makes me feel the need to protect her from my own self. Which means backing away more often than not. My question is would this all be best for me to deal with or better worked out as a couple? I really am at a loss. Than you in advance for any advice at all.
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Re: Responsibility

Postby NewSunRising » Sat Nov 09, 2019 5:57 am

Welcome ian37 ,

Anger management has a lot of techniques . Recognizing and acknowledging the issue is a great first step . Have you spoken to anyone about it ? There are folks who specialize in helping with this . I feel they're a resource well worth looking into . Yeah , folks will tell you stuff like " count to 10 " or "walk away " but a pro can show you a great many more tools and may even provide some insight on what might trigger you .
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Re: Responsibility

Postby Aries411 » Sun Nov 10, 2019 12:33 pm

Welcome to the forum,

With anger, we need to we aware of our triggers. There are just some things that pushes our buttons and we have very little control over what happens next. To answer your question, I would recommend some professional advice to help with this because when you try to fix it on your own, people become very defensive and the discussions may lead to further arguments. For the same reason, I would also try to work on the problem individually first so that you can it sets you up for success when you decide to work on the problem as a couple. I have found through therapy that the main problem couples have is HOW to communicate, not necessarily how much they communicate.
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