So I'm a very weird guy and I'm sorry if my post is going to be a bit longer.
Currently I suffer from a very mild autism, serve anxiety and rational but paranoia.
I have very bad experience with the people from the past and I'm very cautions when it comes to dealing with human being.
My personality types were considered as 4 of them (by psychologist), so I'm also Choleric, at least now.
I still live with my mother, I'm in my teen years but my mother sometimes seems so stupid, this is not to insult her, but her acting out is just crazy. She's very close-minded person and she seems to only see situation from one prescriptive.
She seems very moody and she OVER exaggerate every situation, in extreme levels, she's making huge deal out of everything meanwhile it's nothing. That really gets me over, she's been acting up like that for some time.
Sometimes she's not like that, but that's like two days in a month she's not over-exaggerating
She's turning into a weird person.
Today we had a small talk and she made me a bit pissed, as usual I just get mad and I told her I hope she'll die in pain on a brain cancer, I know that this is not the best thing to do or say but it's already on top of my head, she imminently responded " I hope you will die in even worse pain " which I got so pissed at her and I told her I'm gonna *mod edit- graphic detail removed* in order to feel the pain. I ran into the kitchen for a knife and I started messing in-front of her face. I don't think I would be able to *mod edit* injure* her, unless I would be in super anger which I'm usually not in that big but I already got to the point of showing her my dominance, few seconds after saying her to realize what she's been doing, she asked what she has made me mad for but I was already at the way to kitchen, getting my thoughts on the track.
All the anger wear off usually in 10-90 seconds, there is no anger for me after that.
It's like nothing has happened, some weak form of emotional numbness and not usually comes by but I know my action out is just not right, and I know it was something bad but I no longer make my head out of it. There is nothing I can change.
I was very bullied in school in very early years, and I was the one every laugh at.
My father is also very choleric and usually screams a lot, sometimes when he gets mad, and I'm with him in his car, it looks like, he would just wanted to kick-down the car and rush speed in-to wall.
What is the best way to manage my anger? I'm around 16 to 19, years old.
Also sorry for any grammatical errors, English is not my native language.