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Working on my triggers.

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Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Mon Sep 16, 2019 6:42 pm

One of which is a sibling & sibling-in-law. Limiting contact as much as possible. Doing the 2 million + things which constitute self-care. Motivation for cleaning up my hiding place. It’s a work in progress. I can stand these people, but it’s a lot of work. I’m sure it’s no picnic for them either.
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Mon Sep 16, 2019 8:32 pm

They trigger my latent insecurities. But if I don’t take the bait, they’ll eventually be forced to seek supply elsewhere. So I’m making a list of my insecurities. I have 5 so far.

Expect: belittling, button-pushing, having others used against you, setbacks, & unexpected difficulties. Don’t expect: remorse.

Go low contact. Stop taking it personally. Practice remaining calm. Do the 2 million + things.
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Sat Sep 28, 2019 7:52 pm

Sibling invited themselves over again. Parental unit was just saying “I hope - doesn’t come over.” Then guess who walked in? Good timing. I told the parental unit to use their words. I asked my parental unit why they were telling me & not the sibling? Now they’re both flapping their traps. Blah blah blah.
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby NewSunRising » Mon Sep 30, 2019 8:56 am

Yeah , nobody wants to be the bad guy . Same in my family .
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Fri Oct 04, 2019 5:03 pm

Yep, there’s only room for precious little put-upon martyrs over here. The irony is we’re bad guys anyway, just more sneaky about it. I can spot it cause I got it. :P
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Thu Oct 24, 2019 10:04 pm

Noise is a trigger for me. Screaming children, leaf blowers, radios, heavy machinery, and loud conversations. I want to get in the habit of carrying earplugs in my pocket.
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Wed Nov 27, 2019 4:28 pm

Feeling angry again. It started last night while watching a hoarding show with another family of origin hoarder. They were laughing at an onscreen hoarder who used cadaver peepee pads for their dog. The onscreen hoarder didn’t let the dog out to defecate & urinate. It was all indoors. I said “This isn’t comedy, it’s horror.” They stopped laughing, but not because they wanted to stop laughing. Apparently it’s hilarious to them. :evil:

One reason it upsets me is because I’m afraid of turning into that, or that I already am on my way to turning into that. :( Another reason it upsets me is because this person is such a holier than thou hypocrite. I’m also afraid of turning into that. :? A third reason it upsets me is this is the best I could do as far as living arrangements go. :roll: :x But it can always be worse. :| I have tools to process these emotions.
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Mon Dec 02, 2019 9:03 pm

‘Tis the season my hoard & others’ hoards are bugging me more than usual. Cabin fever is a factor. It feels overwhelming. It’s bigger than me. It’s a family of origin issue. I’m taking positive actions, but I’ve internalized the concept of myself & what I do as not enough, never enough, & it might not be. Some days are better than others though.

I’m grateful we don’t do holiday gift giving. We don’t need anything more. We don’t need what we have. All I can do is take responsibility for my piece & be the change. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I’m not happy about it. It’s all I can do to not be a total witch :twisted: but I’m maybe not as bad as I have been in the past. :? Neither am I a doormat. :) I speak up, even though it’s not always the most helpful. :|

I have a lot of feels about it, the most predominant being: yuck, with a side of: ugh.

It hurts my heart. :cry:
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby NewSunRising » Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:55 pm

Sending a small hug for your heart and wishing you peace , wherever and whenever you can find it .
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Re: Working on my triggers.

Postby thegentlepath » Sun Dec 08, 2019 4:43 pm

Thank you NSR.

Another trigger: being woken early by humans. :evil:
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