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Hello! I have some questions about amnesia.

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Hello! I have some questions about amnesia.

Postby anon_856 » Thu Dec 25, 2008 11:44 am

Does amnesia cause false memories, or is this the result of another disease, such as schizophrenia? People from my past are frequently telling me about things in the present that I probably should have remembered, although I can't seem to recall any specifics. (At least not that I'm going to post!)

I was hospitalized 5150 about a year and a half ago for 2 weeks. I remember that I was very scared, and that I have always had a strong phobia about hospitals and doctors.

I spend a lot of time watching youtube videos and "reminiscing". I "remember" a lot of things that are incredibly unlikely (such as using a nuclear weapon to escape from jail, or that Bill Gates is a close friend of mine), yet they seem as though they are real memories.

I have also observed that when I gain new information, I seem to remember past events as though I knew what I know now then. Does that make sense? It's almost as though my memories are changing with time - could this be a result of me using a different part of my brain to "remember" rather than the standard long-term memory part of my brain?

There is a dark "memory" bouncing around in my head - I've had it as long as I can remember. When I was young (I cannot remember when exactly, and I am afraid to discuss this in a non-anonymous way for fear of being locked up or judged harshly) that when I was young I sleep-raped several women and was caught and castrated in some kind of weird sexual ceremony that involved a lot of people I know. I believed this to be a delusion until recently, when I discovered with two separate women that I am unable to maintain an erection for vaginal or oral sex, and feel intense pain while doing so. My penis looks normal, and I am able to masturbate and ejaculate normally. Is castration a possible explanation for this?

I also seem to "remember" that during this ceremony a needle was inserted into several locations in my brain to damage specific parts. Then again I also remember a lot of things that probably didn't happen. I was involved in a fall in the past, and this could be the result of that, which is what I believed until the erectile dysfunction.

What is going on? What has happened to me? What should I do? I am afraid to talk to people in person or in any way that I could be identified. I am very intelligent, and can fake normality in a very convincing way. I have never spoke of this before. Is any of this possible? How can all of these things be explained? Is there anything I can do to help clear up what is wrong with me, without exposing myself to the possibility of long term incarceration or other potentially damaging treatments?
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Postby Chucky » Thu Dec 25, 2008 10:29 pm

Hey,

I like your line about 'faking' normality. I feel that I also have to fake it for most of each day. Anyway, I think that memory loss in the sense that you are talking about is related to stress and depression. When we are stressed or depressed, our bodies are in a kind of 'defensive' mode, and sometimes we just hear or see things but fail to register them in our brain. The signals enter our amygdala but then fail to be routed to 'long term' storage.

There is also another potential cause, which is related to autism (do you show signs of autism?).
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Postby anon_856 » Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:09 pm

I'm not sure what signs of autism would be. I just did a threesome last night (with a couple, a guy and a girl) and they both seemed to know what they're doing, and I confirmed that although I can masturbate normally I'm completely unable to get an erection during oral sex from a guy or a girl. (I thought I might be gay) Also I found the girl attractive, so that wasn't the problem. (I'm pretty sure I'm straight, actually!)

This failure of sexual performance has caused some serious depression in me, which I am about to treat with some medicinal marijuana. My mind has once again turned toward extreme sports, (I used to free climb and ride a motorcycle, among other things - now I'm thinking about taking up hang gliding or piloting) with a touch of suicidalness - I feel as though my survival instinct will prevent me from committing suicide in a traditional way, but extreme sports could help me to leave this place that I hate...
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Postby Chucky » Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:42 pm

anon, at this point, I don't feel anywhere near qualified to say what could be wrong with you. I think that you should go to your local doctor, in fact, and discuss these symptoms with him/her. On second-analysis of your posts, I don't think that it's anything to do with Autism though.

Before you start taking marijuana, I want you to know that it probably won't hlp your sexual problem at all. Prolonged drug-use could actually worsen your problem.

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