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Some questions about a possible amensia

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Some questions about a possible amensia

Postby Jasmine2013 » Mon May 06, 2013 11:42 am

Hi,

I know this may not be the right subforum but from all I searched this one matches best with my topic.

Before I ask for advice I believe a short description of my issue will be most appropriate... Two years back I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I knew something was wrong since before but I am a person which doesn't run to see a doctor at the first sign of trouble. Later on, after I was worried about some symptoms like sadness and feeling down all the time I got another diagnostic: organic depression. I started to follow a medication prescribed by a psychiatrist but somehow I had the feeling that those meds aren't doing much good. I told about this to my doctor and he decided to increase the dosage. However I ended up in a suicide attempt which obviously failed. After that I got one more diagnostic: personality disorder. After few weeks from my suicide attempt I finally accepted what I must face and got used to it. Now I have a normal life (as normal as it can be) and enjoy being myself. I must say I don't take any medication (except the one needed for multiple sclerosis), I practice active sports, use self control exercises when needed, eating healthy and sleeping enough. All these improved my life quality a lot. So this is the medical background of it.

Now to give you an idea about what I wanna ask ... At the end of 2010 when I first experienced a multiple sclerosis episode (this is an assumption I made based on the comparison of the symptoms I got then and during later episodes) something weird happened to me. During that episode I started to experience selective memory loss ( I say selective because I had an idea about who I am and how to use my computer, information about things I considered important and so on). This lasted for few hours. Then I started to recover my old memories but lost the most recent ones since the memory loss episode started. Ever since, when I get a multiple sclerosis episode it will end with a period when I lose some of my memories and details about myself. Since these episodes are usually preceded by some physical symptoms I can anticipate them and take a break from my social life, work and anything else that will ask me to interact with others. I got to know that I can shorten the time needed for recovery if I surround myself with things that are important to me like stuffs related to what I like the most, important persons from my life and things like these.

Some of my friends seen me in some of those moments and tried to do their best to comfort me and speed up my recovery. However I got to know that some say I just fake it to ask for more attention. I tried to explain them how the things are just as I did here but didn't had much effect. I am aware that multiple sclerosis can cause memory loss and sometimes I may act weird. What I would like to know is id there is a possibility that on a subconscious level I actually fake that memory loss? I am not a person who asks for attention in fact I like to do my job and go on, I enjoy a good laugh at times and go out with friends, I have all I need and pretending to be what I am not it's not on my books. Ofcourse there are times when I hide my illness but that its just because I don't like when people look pitiful at me.

So once again, based on my background and the situations I described so far, is there any possibility I actually fake amnesia? Maybe some parts of what I said are inconsistent with a real amnesia episode, I don't know. And I would like to know if what happens to me is normal for this type of disease I have before I go and see a doctor about it and end up with another diagnostic. I assume there is a reason why some of my friends believe I am faking it and I just want to clarify.

Thank you very much for your time and sorry for the long post.
Jasmine2013
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