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Hate going out

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Hate going out

Postby Manners73 » Tue Dec 31, 2019 5:25 pm

I wouldn't say I'm agoraphobic but I hate going out.

It started about 4 years ago when I started at my present place of work. Before then I used to socialise quite regularly.

I've never been the type to stay in contact with people when I move on so when my old company went out of business I moved on but its as though I took a completely wrong turn and I'll tell you why; I had the to make a choice between two jobs. Both jobs were similar and with similar pay. However one of the companies I'd heard a lot about and the other I had heard nothing about. The job I'd heard nothing about was closer to home and the premises had better facilities for cyclists etc so this was the choice I made.

However after working there for only a short while there seemed to be something off but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I ignored this feeling and just carried on. I've been there 4 years now and it's just been one thing after the other. They moved premises to somewhere well out of the way that had no facilities. I've had no social life because of the location mainly but also because of the overall feeling that stuck with me from the start that somethings off.

My anxiety, paranoia and mental health has suffered in the last 4 years. I even got fired once and then got my job back. I've felt as though I don't get hardly any time or enough time to myself even though I work short hours and I hate going out. The only time I go out is for work.

Don't get me wrong though, I really love my job, I'm good at it and even though I don't see my colleagues socially I know that I am liked.

I feel as though everything fir the last 4 years has been because I made the wrong choice. Its like I'm really not meant to be there and everything is telling me to leave but I can't leave because I feel trapped.

Not sure if this is the right forum to post this in but it did seem to be when I started.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Snaga » Tue Feb 11, 2020 2:06 am

Hey!

A bit late to see this, but how're you feeling at this time?

I'm not sure about the exact appropriateness of this forum, but close enough.

Is the place struggling? You mentioned the move.

Sometimes we get a feeling something's off, even when we can't pin it down. Only you know (without breaking your privacy) if things appear kosher.

We can second guess ourselves endlessly. My life seems to be falling apart, so, yeah. We just make the best decisions we can at the time.

How much time is spent commuting? Is the aversion to going out on account of needing to de-stress from work? It sounds as if it takes a lot out of you and there's nothing left?
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Manners73 » Sat Feb 15, 2020 4:17 pm

Yeah I think part of it is a need to de stress from work.

I spend a lot of my time out at work and I also work from home as well.

I did go through a phase where I was extremely anxious when I left the house unless it was for work.

I'm over that now but I'm still in the habit of not going out.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Snaga » Sun Feb 16, 2020 5:00 am

Left to myself, I tend to hermit.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Manners73 » Sun Feb 23, 2020 8:11 pm

Yeah.

I sometimes think that my reluctance to go out stems from sleeping rough a lot when I was younger and literally having nowhere to go.

I've got a nice place now so why would I want to go out?

I know this is part of it but I also know that up until about 4 years ago I do have a good social life.

The location of this job is part of the problem as well.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Snaga » Tue Feb 25, 2020 10:06 pm

I think sometimes we fall into a rut (ditch, bottomless pit, whatever) and find it hard to get back out, without making an effort to do so- sometimes quite an effort.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Manners73 » Sat Mar 07, 2020 6:48 pm

And also I stopped using drugs, alcohol and committing crimes.

All af these things were my reasons for going out.

I've just not got the motivation to enter into mainstream life.

I did have that happy medium when I worked at my old place because of everyone was into partying etc and I did go out quite a lot back then.

It's like I've stepped out of the fire and walked head first into the clutched of the Christian fellowship.

I know I've answered my own question here.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Snaga » Wed Mar 18, 2020 5:01 am

Well there's worse things than getting religion, ha...

Everything really is a happy medium. If it's the only way to stay out of trouble, then it is. But it would be a shame to have to be a recluse. Hopefully you'll eventually find reasons to get out that don't center around partying hard.
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Re: Hate going out

Postby Manners73 » Sat Mar 28, 2020 7:43 am

Well we're on lock down now so I am staying in.

Apart from when I go out of course.
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