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Life seems pointless

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Life seems pointless

Postby Darktolight74 » Tue Dec 18, 2018 6:32 pm

I’m hoping to find some people to connect with on here because being agoraphobic can feel so isolating and sometimes life doesn’t seem worth living anymore.

Anyway I’ve been suffering from this for many years and all the help I’ve tried to get only served to make things worse. I live with my mother which feels terribly embarrassing especially at my age. This is one of the problems that can also compound agoraphobia and low self esteem which is the longer your life becomes dependent on others and the more life passes you by, the more ashamed you feel which makes it harder to connect with people. As the years go by it’s becoming harder to justify my existence in this world. Whenever I have reached out for help it just seems I either get hurt or humiliated, in fact I think the mental health system is a crock for the most part and instead of finding support, acceptance, and respect, instead your labeled, kept at a distance, medicated, and thrown away and for good measure laughed at too.

To make matters worse I had to move to a small town a few years ago and the environment here is horrible if you’re dealing with a disability. The people are nosy and judgmental to the extreme, I feel like I’m living around a bunch of cold hearted assholes who can’t mind their own business. I’m about to end my life. I do try and look at the positive for example I’m not homeless but all the negative and the loneliness seems to outweigh the positive, things pretty much seem hopeless and it doesn’t look like things will ever improve for me and yes I know it is my responsibility to change things but going through life alone and isolated is no way to live.

I do try and distract myself with other things like computer games, researching, and reading but it's getter harder to get my mind off the horrible existence I feel on a daily basis.
Darktolight74
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