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2017 officially marks 20 years since my diagnosis

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2017 officially marks 20 years since my diagnosis

Postby TPatience » Tue Jan 03, 2017 5:10 pm

Hi Everyone,

I am a 42 yr old wife and mother... and I have struggled with anxiety - both "rational" (ie worries about money or my kids) and "irrational" (fear of throwing myself off balconies or driving off a cliff) - my entire life. However, I was first diagnosed with a Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia in 1997 after my first full-fledged, I think I'm dying, what is happening?! panic attack while driving on the interstate.

Twenty years later and I still only drive a few blocks from my house and require one of my very specific "safe people" if I'm going to be riding in a car on the highway or after dark. Unfortunately - as much as I love him - my sweet husband of 18yrs isn't one of my safe people when it comes to the highway... so we've had to drag my poor 66yr old mother with us anytime we want to leave our little city!

My 2017 New Year's resolution is to set some new, very specific goals regarding my panic disorder. It breaks my heart to know that I've spent just about half my life limited by this disorder!! As my psychiatrist says, I will probably ALWAYS have a panic disorder... but I CAN work towards increasing the size of my "safe world" and towards experiencing more that the "outside world" has to offer!

So, for the sake of my husband, my three wonderful children, my long-suffering parents, and MYSELF... I am calling my therapist (who I haven't seen for a couple years) and getting back to work on breaking out of this box I've allowed my anxiety to help me build for myself.

More posts to come... I just wanted to introduce myself and put my resolution out there. I need help with my accountability - it's soooooo much easier to just keep on living like I have for the past twenty years and soooooo much more difficult to try to do the things that trigger my panic attacks. But I want more from my life and the only way to get there is to face my fear.

Thank you all...
Peace & Blessings
TPatience
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Re: 2017 officially marks 20 years since my diagnosis

Postby Love Heart123 » Sat Jan 14, 2017 12:48 am

I wish you all the best and well done for calling a therapist, it's not an easy thing to do. Your positivity to help your self is inspiring. I've only recently heard of agoraphobia from camh, Who say I suffer from this. I'm much younger than you but I'm looking foward to seeing more posts about your progress
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Re: 2017 officially marks 20 years since my diagnosis

Postby serialsunrise11 » Fri Jan 20, 2017 7:24 am

I completely understand how you feel. I also want to live outside of my very limited cage that I made for myself. It IS very, VERY hard to make yourself do the things you need to do to get better...I still have not gotten there....My mother is my only safe person and she is now very sick of me. I am so glad that you are going to do this for yourself...I needed to read something hopeful...so thank you so much. I wish you all the luck in the world with all of my heart!
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Re: 2017 officially marks 20 years since my diagnosis

Postby Serene » Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:27 pm

Hi, I wonder how its going with you. I'm a 43 yr mom. No pressure of course, I'm just pushing myself to talk to people who have similar problems as I. :)
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