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Fear of confrontation

Postby ngotham93nd » Wed Apr 13, 2016 9:09 am

I was on my way to catch the bus. I saw a guy outside my apartment building who looked like he was urinating on the building. I said: "Are you pissing on the wall"? I didn't wait for him to turn around and answer. I had to get to the bus stop.

After I got to the bus stop, the guy comes to the bus stop too. He said: "Yeah, I was pissing on the wall". I said: "Great. Can't you find a bathroom"? He said: "No".

Later on I was thinking about this. I thought I would have liked to have said: "Don't piss on our building again"! I certainly think I should have said that if I had a house and he urinated on it. I don't know what I would say if he challenged me and said: "If I piss on your building again, what are you going to do about it"?

I've never really stood up to jerks and bullies. It's not something that I've had to deal with much since I was a teenager, but I feel bad because I'm a timid guy.
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Re: Fear of confrontation

Postby ForcedHabit » Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:55 am

I don't think it is a good idea, unless you look big/intimidating. Or at least have skills to protect yourself.

There are a lot of aggressive, entitled people out there who will become violent when confronted.

Ignore the guy and report the incident to the building owner/manager, or whoever is probably best. Then they can look out for him and deal with it.
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Re: Fear of confrontation

Postby BBKnight » Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:53 pm

Hi Ngotham93nd i am Brian,

If the man was urinating in front of women or children then maybe chastise him, but if no one was about forget about it. Would you have been mad if a dog urinated on the building? its still urine. And hind sight is a great thing what words should have been said etc, do not allow your mind to dwell on this incident or any other. He pissed you spoke to him about it he responded its over move on. =)
In this world there are things worth risking our lives for be it through a fight or risking life and limb. This incident is not one of them. Do not feel any less of a human because you did not exert your will by force, in fact the opposite is true you lost face and gave way to avert violence and aggression that is a truly decent thing to do. And i know by the way you write if an incident of true importance were to crop up you will have the courage to deal with it.

A human i very much respect by the name of Bruce Lee who was himself a great fighter who physically fought for the right to teach us foreign devils Kung Fu and oriental philosophy once said "there is no winning in a fight, just degrees of losing"

Do not doubt yourself and do not dwell on things that are done keep your mind ready to respond to the now.=)

B.
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