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Am I immature or emotionally weak for having AD?

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Am I immature or emotionally weak for having AD?

Postby Kip » Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:25 pm

When I was a preteen I was diagnosed with situational depression, now I see it is identified as adjustment disorder. I had depressive symptoms for several months, even to the point of self harm or wanting to die. I was constantly sad, hopeless, and lonely. The event in question that triggered this was a falling out my best friend / crush, which evolved into thinking nobody liked me when it separated me from the rest if my friends. That was it. I also struggled with accepting being gay and struggling with my religion. I often feel like I am immature or mentally weak for getting this upset over something so small. My therapist says I didn't choose to be depressed and it was a result of my emotional sensitivity. It happened a long time ago and I am no longer depressed, but I have residuasl symptoms of emotional numbness and self-loathing and I can't believe it traces back to something I don't even care about anymore. I feel like it's my fault, and that i am trivializing people with real depression and suicidal thoughts who either have it as a long term mental disorder or as a result of abusive or traumatic lives. I feel like I was just ungrateful and pathetic, as I had a very good life when suddenly I wanted to kill myself after one little thing went wrong. Does the fact I have adjustment disorder mean that I am weak or that I'm trivializing serious issues by getting so depressed and suicidal over minor things? Is it my fault?
Kip
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