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has any1 been through this?

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has any1 been through this?

Postby abrit » Tue Apr 11, 2006 2:05 am

I'm a 19 year old, just finished my second year of uni. I find it hard to think about these things cos it unsettles my emotions but hey..
I lived in a halls of residence in my first year, and got quite comfortable with the peepes there, having maybe 20 or so peopl i talked to regularly. Towards the time of year when people were getting appartments sorted out for second year, I realised that the people I was closest to had all made arrangements to live with others they were closer to, and i ended up going into university accomodation for second year, very far away from the centre of town, and my friends from last year. The majority of people in my accomodation this year are foreign postgrad students, with only two brits in my flat of 10, who i found to be quite weird, as I maybe am myself. I lost contact with most people from first year, as seeing me was not a priority for them as it was for me. I did come to enjoy the company of an American girl, who payed me more attention than any other girl ever had before, but the realisation that I will not be able to have her for company or emotional support (someone to talk to etc...) has dawned on me.( I should say that I have never had a girlfriend, am still a virgin, and although i feel i am fairly attractive, all evidence has shown that I am not to girls, and find i never have anything to say to people in conversations. So now I face the prospect of finding accomodation for third year alone, or with people I do not like. Thinking of this makes me feel unbearably alone, I really cannot imagine a worse feeling when I think about it, not exaggerating. I just feel so alone and outcast, and cannot seem to find the motivation to go out, or make plans for summer etc.. like the other people my age i know(I have a few friends in my home town, but am really not close to any of them, they all have flatmates/girlfriends)

Apologies for the long rant, thanks for reading, any comments would be welcome :-)
abrit
 


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