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I think this is ME!

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I think this is ME!

Postby Survivor8484 » Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:16 am

I suffered a lot during my life from Narcissists, who were emotionally/verbally abusive right from birth from a close family member. Then from a couple of others, it involved drugs, alcohol, verbally humiliating me infront of other, and threatening to kill me in not so direct words over and over again.

Now at 40, I have tons of issues with hypervigilance, and PTSD like reactions, maybe social anxiety.
And when I have interactions in person with my family of origin, I think I get this easily again, and they are still super sick and use drugs and act completely out of control some of the time.

I'd like to have others to talk more about this...I'm doing my best to go no contact with this particular triggering family member, but now there are 2 I know I absolutely need to go no contact with. As well as everyone talks if I speak to anyone from my family of origin. I feel like I have to give them up to have any sanity at all long-term.

It's so much more complicated as my parents are elderly and could use help. But helping them always gets me hurt, retraumatized, retriggered into crisis counseling/groups/etc..
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Re: I think this is ME!

Postby bona.drag » Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:33 pm

Hi Survivor,

It upset me to read this, this is absolutely all their fault, for you to even think it is your fault is exactly what their abuse aimed to do. It was them, and all them.

No wonder you are experiencing these psychological problems now, especially the PTSD - threatening to kill you when you were a defenceless child who depended on them would likely cause this as it was a direct threat to your life.

Have you tried psychotherapy? CBT? This really helped for my N situation, I am on my second lot now though as it has taken a while to drag everything into the light.

I found this site really helpful :

http://www.lightshouse.org/reducing-contact.html

Ok so they are elderly now and need someone to take care of them, but where were they when you needed someone to take care of you? They will never learn or change if they have NPD, so cutting contact would be for your own good rather than 'to show them'.
Its time to look after yourself and think about your needs.
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