My mom is verbally abusive as well. She is the meanest person I know. About two weeks ago her and my father were visiting me. She started in on me about my weight. Then when I told her why doesn't she quit smoking, she told me to shut the F... Up or she would slap me. We were in a restaurant, a public place. My entire life my mother has screamed at me, even in public where other can see. She belittles me and undermines me and puts me down. She has told me every decision I have made and continue to make are wrong. I lost my job back in December and am in student loan debt. My house is in forbearance. I don't know if I will lose it or not. I have only an AA degree and can't afford to go any higher due to financial student loan debt. My dog was seriously hurt tonight and I had to take her to the vet. All of the places the vet referred me to to get financial assistance either had no money or would not help me. I managed to scrape enough together to pay for half of the vet bill. I am undergoing extreme financial hardship. It seems my only option is to move back in with my parents. Which means I will have to endure my mothers venomous tongue. My father never did anything to stop my mother nor does he still. He says nothing, to him if you ignore it, it will go away. He has always been distant.
Moving in with them seems like my only option, but my pets will endure my mothers wrath as well. I have a small dog she tells the shut the f... up to when she visits. She got mad and screamed at my larger dog for wagging her tale. She does not bother my cats, but would probably scream at my parrot for squawking. These animals are more of a family to me then my own.
I remember babysitting one time a six month old, he began to cry, my mother told him to shut the f... up. I can imagine she probably did this to me growing up as a baby as well.
I know even before she ever told me she never wanted me or my brother and wished she never married my dad. She is what would be classified as a Toxic Parent. Very enmeshed in my life, I was basically an extension of her, never allowed to think for myself or be myself, whoever that was. Growing up as far back as 5 years old I can remember wishing I was dead. I did attempt suicide 2 times. I couldn't take being picked on all day at school and then come home and be picked on by my mother and my brother. The last time I was 25, lived at home and was at my boyfriends house, he dumped me. I went home the next day and my mother put a note on my bed your messing with fire and now your going to get burned. I lost it and couldn't take it and tried to call it quits. I think about ending my life all the time. But I am too chicken to do it, once you do it, you can't go back, that's it. I still think about it though. It's not that I want to die, it's just I want to fix my life and make it better. I can't figure out how.
Moving in with my parents is the only option I have left now it seems. I can't figure out any other way to get ahead in my life. I am back in therapy but can only afford to go every other week. The therapist suggested I come weekly. I was never raised to be independent and make it on my own. Ever since I moved out my mo has been trying to get me to move back in. Being around her I am always on guard and walking on egg shells. I never know when she will blow up. My parents solution to my life is to become a pharmacy tech. I don't want to do that, but my mom flat out said I don't care. I am not a child. I am not even in my 20's. I am older. My parents treat me like I am 12 and am stupid and can't make decisions on my own. I have a very low self esteem.
I don't know what to do. Moving in with them is a really bad idea. But living on my own, it's like I am fighting a losing battle and can't seem to make it.
If someone is in an abusive relationship, whether it be physical, emotional or mental, people would tell them don't go back o that person. But when it's your own parent doing it, some tell you, well you have no choice so move back home.