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First time telling this obsession

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First time telling this obsession

Postby Janivy » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:53 am

Hello everyone, first of all i am still kind of afraid of telling this, but im glad i found this forum while i was searching a solution for this obsession and i decided to register here and open a topic. For 2 years now, i've an obsession of cutting my hair, but let me tell you all of it and what made me open this topic because at this point this became something really problematic to me and it really drives me crazy and even makes me cry a lot, even right now, when im typing this topic im really stressed and down about it.

I should tell that i always had long nice hair since my childhood (Im a male btw, i dont know if this matters for this particular obssesion), and when i was in high school i started using Cipram 20mg for antisocial behaviour and i was dealing with flushing in crowd, and sweating, stressing, having nightmares and with many other things, and medicine worked well for social issues.

I used this medicine since im 16-17 i guess, now im 21 and im still using the same medicine, but the thing that happened to me, since i started using this medicine was cutting my hair. I started obssessing with it, every time i cut it from the beginning, i was thinking cutting it again, it was the only thing i was thinking about, i wasnt able to concentrate on anything because of it and still its the same.

It was kind of a advantage to me back then because i was cutting little pair of hairs and my hair was looking kinda okay because i wasnt aware of it, it wasnt an obsession to me back then. And eventually some time after, that cutted type of hair was also annoyed me and i decided to make it shorter and shorter and in time i started shaving back of my hair with this shaving machine. Now im even disturbed by even one strand of little hair at the back of my head. And the looking of it because what i did looks really awful. I feel really bad about it, I dont go out, I wear thick clothes even in summer to hide that look in public, also my hair in general looks really awful so i just do go out and i refuse talking to anybody except its necessary. When im home, this scissors just pulls me for cutting my hair, i just cant resist to that feeling, firstly i start pulling my hair with my hand and i cut it eventually, i end up in bathroom spending my days cutting my hair.

Some time ago i went to some place with no scissors by myself for dealing with this addiction and eventually i cutted a lot of hair with some knife i found in the kitchen...

I dont know what to do really, last time i went to pychiatrist was kinda long time ago but she didnt care about it really, Im really desperate about this, I want to grow my hair like normal people, i want to spend my time, i just want to live like human beings.

And also Im not a native speaker of English and if theres something not clear, let me know, I'll try to edit it, thank you people!
Janivy
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