Our partner




ADVICE NEEDED: ASEXUALITY OR SOCIAL ISSUES?

Social Phobia message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: EarlGreyDregs

ADVICE NEEDED: ASEXUALITY OR SOCIAL ISSUES?

Postby llhh12 » Wed May 15, 2013 12:34 am

Im hoping someone can shed some light on the things Im going through at the moment as this is really affecting my life and relationships. I used to have no problem with relationships, and enjoyed the closeness to someone although didnt usually feel what most feel when their kissing someone or having sex. I would feel somewhat detached but still enjoyed the experience. Ive never had a problem watching erotica and can sometimes be aroused by it if my moods are in the right place.However I hav noticed when talking to friends about sex that I get very uncomfortable answering personal questions and talking about body parts. Even now just typing I cant seem to bring myslf to be more in depth. The past year however whenever someone tries to touh me or kiss me I feel repulsed and like I want to just run away.I still have an interest in people and sexual things but when it gets to the moment I start off by feeling disinterested and have no emotional or physical response but then I feel panic and even nausea sometimes. I look at people and find them attractive but as soon as theres a chance it might lead to more its as if automatically I find every single flaw on them and it makes me feel sick. I have emotionally unstable,paranoid and schizotypal pd and find that altough I do crave closeness with someone as soon as its happening and this is in terms of emotional closeness too I feel like Im drowning and need to be alone but then I get lonely. Do other people go through this and seem to find people attractive but as soon as the idea of anything physical or emotional might happen suddenly finds them disgusting? I really dont know if this is asexuality or some weird kind of phobia thats got worse as times gone on and as usual my mental health team arent much help. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
llhh12
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue May 14, 2013 1:21 pm
Local time: Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: ADVICE NEEDED: ASEXUALITY OR SOCIAL ISSUES?

Postby EarlGreyDregs » Wed May 15, 2013 4:13 pm

Hi -

Sorry you're struggling with this. I don't think anyone can really say what exactly the problem is. But it really sounds like a big part of this problem is anxiety about it, a phobic reaction and disgust at it. What I was reading into it, was that perhaps you have a fear of intimacy (not exactly sex, but the intimacy it entails) and that's why you're having such a strong phobic response to it. Just a lot of what you described, sounds more like a phobia and intimacy fears and discomfort, versus just asexuality which is usually just a general disinterest in sex (which can involve repulsion, so I'm not saying you don't have it), and you said you still have an interest in sexual things, which an asexual wouldn't.

Do you have a therapist? I think it would really help to talk to a professional about this and find out what the problem is. And if the problem is a fear of intimacy, then perhaps they can help you overcome it.

- EGD.
..
EarlGreyDregs
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 4592
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:19 pm
Local time: Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:02 am
Blog: View Blog (7)

Re: ADVICE NEEDED: ASEXUALITY OR SOCIAL ISSUES?

Postby llhh12 » Wed May 15, 2013 8:59 pm

Thanks for response, yeah I did have a therapist for two and a half years, a lot longer than your meant to on the NHS but she didnt seem to be able to break through enough to help me so I would say your right. Im hoping to start work again soon so hopefully Ill be able to fund a therapu which is more suited to me
llhh12
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue May 14, 2013 1:21 pm
Local time: Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: ADVICE NEEDED: ASEXUALITY OR SOCIAL ISSUES?

Postby EarlGreyDregs » Thu May 16, 2013 4:08 pm

It can take a few tries to find a good therapist that you click with and can help. I'm not sure how the NHS works, I'm in the US, with a different system. I hope you can get one soon and get some help for this.

- EGD.
..
EarlGreyDregs
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 4592
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:19 pm
Local time: Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:02 am
Blog: View Blog (7)


Return to Social Phobia Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 21 guests