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I had sex with my identical twin brother

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I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby rvss18 » Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:02 am

I am Justin 22 years old. I have an identical twin brother named Jasper. We are the twinliest twins ever. We share the same apartment. We dress up like each other all the time. We also share a bed. There was this one time when we came home from college and were about to go to sleep. We wore the same clothes to sleep, t-shirt and brief. We couldn't sleep so we watched TV before sleeping. We were telling stories until we looked each other in the eye then started kissing. We had sex. After that we were worried because we had girlfriends. And we do not know what to do about it now. We are in love with each other but also with our girlfriends. He said he's not mad at me for doing it but I just feel so guilty about cheating on my girlfriend with my brother
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby Ada » Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:10 pm

Cheating on her with anyone sucks. I see two options. I'm not a therapist, doctor, or qualified in any way, this is all my own thought.

One, you could tell your girlfriend that you'd like to have a non-monogamous relationship. This would mean she gets to have sex with other people too, if she wants. You wouldn't need to be upfront about who you want to have sex with though it might help her decision-making to say that it's a man and not a woman. For some people, that feels like less risk of "emotional replacement", as whatever else happens, she can never be a man. But she might alternatively think that it's more of a "health risk". It would be her choice.

Two, you could be monogamous with her and not have sex with your brother, or anyone else, again. It's fine to be in love with people without making it sexual. You might then need to stop sharing a bed if you needed to decrease that temptation or take further steps if you needed to.

Whichever option you pick, it'd be good to talk to your brother about what you're doing and why. He has the same choice to make with his girlfriend too. You'll need to support each other with whatever decision you all make.
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby rvss18 » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:24 am

I did ask for a non-monogamous relationship. My girlfriend is so sensitive and was like "If you do this, I would break up with you". And for my brother, he was dumped by his girlfriend making him SINGLE. Should I choose my girlfriend or my brother?
One more thing, its hard for us to have two beds because we have financial problems and the reason why we can go to college is because of our scholarship. That means the most affordable apartment we can get has only one bed. We have also got used to doing the same things together so it would be very hard to adjust especially since we were doing it since we were 7.
Last edited by rvss18 on Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby Ada » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:27 am

How could anyone answer that question except you?
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby rvss18 » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:34 am

I can now say that my brother is who I love. We flirt with each other all the time, even more than we flirt with our girlfriends. We have kissed each other (during the sex mentioned earlier) before we kissed our girlfriends. So I'm pretty sure now. We would keep doing what we always do.
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby Ada » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:45 am

Do you see yourself as having a wife one day? If that's a goal of yours, a girlfriend is a prerequisite. Could your current girlfriend be The One?

Is your apartment physically so small that you can only fit in one single bed? There are alternatives, if you wanted to pursue that path. Airbeds are inexpensive, or hammocks, or a sofa bed in the lounge?

Have you talked to your brother about it? Does he want it to happen again? Does he have a view on the "girlfriend vs. brother" question?

And, I am influenced by my morality, which says adult consensual sibling sex is fine, but cheating is wrong. Is that your own view too? Or are both wrong for you or cheating fine but sex wrong?
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby rvss18 » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:54 am

I have always had love for my brother. But since that sex event, I lost the picture of me getting married to my girl. Like I said, the apartment is too small. The bedroom only has space for a tv, bed, dresser and lamp. We do not even have a living room. I don't even see this as cheating anymore because we just looked each other in the eye and just did it, I didn't plan this!
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby Ada » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:59 am

You have the chance to plan now, and you're thinking it all through, so, for me, that's clearly over the cheating line if in the future you have sex with two people without one of them knowing about the other.

And your apartment won't always be small. :) Though it's up to you if you always share it with your brother.
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby rvss18 » Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:01 pm

Thanks Ada!
I really appreciate the help. I can live happily with my brother now
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Re: I had sex with my identical twin brother

Postby Glennmat1 » Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:20 am

If this is true you have no one to answer to except yourselves. Even though you have girlfriends they come and go but the love of a brother whether platonic or sexual will last till you both die. Enjoy it and enjoy your lives with others also. Never pass up the opportunity for happiness because of what others would think!!!
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