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Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

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Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby Curiously » Thu May 24, 2012 6:54 am

The title pretty much says it all: I'm sexually attracted to older men. Everything that's wrong about it is hot for me, if that even makes any sense at all (a teenager being with an older man, his sexual urges of being with a teenager etc).

I often hear people say that being attracted to older men is quite normal, and it's often due to not wanting to be in a relationship with immature teenage boys. I don't think that's the case in my situation because I don't want to be in a relationship with older men (I find it revolting, which I'm also confused about). I just want them for sex, to sum it up.

I'm so obsessed with having sex with an older man that I've even met 2 men online for sex (oldest was 30). Even though we didn't have sex, we did do other sexual things. Since I was 10 I've been masturbating everyday, and over 5 times a day at the most while thinking about older men. In my spare time I used to go on webcam to older men but I think my mom caught me so my webcam got taken away.

When I read stories about teenage girls getting raped by an older man I feel jealous (How sick is that?). I feel as if they're lucky and I would do anything to be in their shoes. Despite the way I feel, I also know what the girl must be going through so I'd obviously not wish it on anyone but myself. I guess this brings back the past as I've been abused and molested numerous times in my youth but I've never lost any sleep/been depressed about it. Thinking back on it makes me aroused and I always wonder why I kept resisting.

So yeah... It's intervening with my life. I can't walk down the street without having vulgar thoughts in my head about men. I'm constantly thinking about it at home, at school, everywhere. I need help, I don't know what to do. I've also heard that this happens when you don't have a father figure (and I don't have a dad) but I don't quite understand it.
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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby guyver280z » Mon May 28, 2012 6:04 am

You need professional help. Tell your parents about who abused you because that is definitely causing you a lot of mental problems.

I'm sorry you were abused, there's a lot of sick men out there. Don't let them get away with it.

But please talk to your parents and seek professional help.
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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby Curiously » Thu May 31, 2012 9:22 am

guyver280z wrote:You need professional help. Tell your parents about who abused you because that is definitely causing you a lot of mental problems.

I'm sorry you were abused, there's a lot of sick men out there. Don't let them get away with it.

But please talk to your parents and seek professional help.


Thanks for reply. ^.^

I told my parent once (when I was around 6-7) that I was being molested by her friend for months when he was baby-sitting me. She told me it was my fault that I didn't "scream for help". I guess I believed that so I let it carry on for a year until I moved. That was the last time I was going to tell her about my other encounters with other men.

As for professional help, I'm too embarrassed. And honestly I never thought I had mental problems. I've never been depressed/traumatized by what happened to me. It's obvious that what happened to me plays some role in my strange taste for men but I don't know about mental problems. Also seeking for professional help would require telling my parent which I don't want to do.
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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby Little Boy Lost » Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:23 pm

being attracted to them is fine. you'll grown into it as you age, assuming you do not grow out of that preference. it's fairly common for women in their early 20s to have sex with men in their early 30s, and even to date them.







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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby LilyChen » Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:01 pm

I think that's normal for girl like you, there are also some teen girl that sexually attracted to older men and already has romantic feelings maybe I guess they want to experience sexual intercourse with older men but I'm not pretty sure.
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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby rondygote » Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:38 am

Please tell your parent regarding that.You are suffering from serious problem.
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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby masquerade » Sat Jun 30, 2012 4:56 pm

Hun, you have been abused, and whether you realise this on a conscious level or not, there will have been emotional consequences. You were introduced to sexual things at a very young age, before you were emotionally and psychologically mature enough to process anything. As you were so young, you were in a situation of physical, emotional and psychological danger. A child is not capable of making informed consent, and an adult who abuses this is a predator, with deep psychological problems.

You really need to talk about your feelings with a professional, who can help you to process them, and find a sense of healing. This is very important.

Now that you are in puberty, your body is going through changes. Having sexual feelings at this age is normal, and so is masturbation. However, it is illegal in many parts of the world to indulge in sexual intercourse at this age, and the law exists for a reason. Although you are physically mature in many ways, you haven't caught up in terms of emotional maturity, even if it seems to you that you have. Your brain won't stop developing for some time. Having a sexual relationship contains a risk of pregnancy, an STD, and also the risk of being physically attacked by a partner or being forced or co erced into doing things that you don't want to do. It carries with it a lot of complex emotional implications. Many older men will exploit, using flattery and praise to get a younger person to comply to what they want to do. They could lead them into situations where they are in danger, and there is a high chance of this. Very often this is subtle and not overtly obvious. These issues are too much for a person of your age to cope with. It's safe and harmless to keep your fantasies in your head, and to have crushes on people, but to act them out and seek men out on the internet in this way is putting you at risk. It's opening you up to more abuse, hun, and it's putting you in danger.

Older men in their twenties, thirties and older are not naive. They have life experience. They have little in common with someone of your age. Although they may look at someone, not knowing that they're underage, they would be horrified to find that they'd been tricked into sleeping with someone or engaging in sexual activity with someone because she lied about her age. This revulsion and horror at the realisation is a normal reaction. The men who would do this, and who make a point of seeking younger people out, engaging with them on the net whilst being aware of their age, are paedophiles and their motives are not good. They are capable of great harm that you couldn't even imagine. For your own safety, you must stop seeking them out on the internet, and perhaps tell the police or get an adult you trust to do this. This would prevent them from harming any more people.
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Re: Sexually attracted to older men - Is this normal?

Postby Brids17 » Sat Jul 14, 2012 5:25 pm

masquerade wrote:Having a sexual relationship contains a risk of pregnancy, an STD, and also the risk of being physically attacked by a partner or being forced or co erced into doing things that you don't want to do. It carries with it a lot of complex emotional implications. Many older men will exploit, using flattery and praise to get a younger person to comply to what they want to do. They could lead them into situations where they are in danger, and there is a high chance of this. Very often this is subtle and not overtly obvious.


There's so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. Getting into a sexual relationship or flat out having sex does *NOT* in any way, shape or form increase the odds of you being physically attacked. That's the most ridiculous nonsense I've ever heard.

Furthermore, to suggest that just because a man is older he more likely to exploit you is yet again, unbelievably ignorant and incorrect. The age of a man does not increase the odds of him treating you poorly and for a moderator in a sexuality forum to say that suggests you're clearly not moderating the right forum.

masquerade wrote:Older men in their twenties, thirties and older are not naive. They have life experience. They have little in common with someone of your age.


Am I missing something? because I don't see her age posted anywhere...
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