Wierd shirtless male bonding fetish...is this normal?

Mate, I see where you're coming from, and yes, this is normal.

I feel that as men we can emasculate or "masculate" other men. Hanging out bare chested with other men who are more masculine than me, masculates me. It affirms my masculinity, it's the message that I can share in the fraternity of being shirtless.

Chest contact is something I almost always appreciate. I have a heart problem, so am used to being taken by ambulance to hospital when things go odd, and as part of that, I will have my bare chest manhandled by other men, whether it be doctors, nurses or paramedics.

One thing that sticks out in my memory is a church men's breakfast about 5 or 6 years ago. I had had a bad job interview the previous afternoon, and felt low, and was just chatting with a couple of guys. One of them, a rather burly lorry driver, I'd not met before. We had the breakfast, and then, as he left, he walked past me and patted me twice on the chest. I felt so light-headed that I needed to sit down, feeling masculated by someone more masculine than I was.

I was brought up to believe the male chest was somehow "dirty". My mum would yell at my dad if he even had a top button undone. Hence a love/hate relationship with being shirtless. I think I associate it with high-testosterone worlds such as sports and building sites.

Each man's chest is unique and personal - developed by a combination of genetics (e.g. how hairy it is or isn't) and lifestyle (e.g. how chiselled or flabby it is). It stores the heart, the centre of a man's being.

So I see the wish to be masculated by hugging another shirtless man. Craigslist is one way - I have advertised there, but you get a lot of dross with some gold to be found. The annoying replies to looking for a shirtless hug are those which tell me that it isn't normal and I need help, and those whose thought process is "shirtless hug, shirtless hug. What does he mean by 'shirtless hug'?. Oh, he means oral sex" and I end up with an email reply which, when opened, has a dick pic.

I think we have gone too far, lately, in the West- the US, anyway, of sexualising male physical contact that in the past would have been once considered non-sexual. Which is a shame.

Hey man,

If you really want to do this, I can tell you how, from experience. First, choose the guy you want to bond with, or at least one you would be stoked to bond with in the shirtless hug. Next, figure out how to get him in the right situation, which is hopefully one on one. If it's in a group of guys, you can still make progress but you'll have to modify a bit. The best scenario would be camping, but a secluded beach or hiking alone would work. Or invite him to your place to watch football/grill out, play basketball or whatever he's into. Just find what he's into and center it around that. If it's too weird to just have the two of you, if you don't know him as well, make it a group thing but of course focus it around him. Remember, you're pursuing him kinda like you would a girl, even though the goal is different and you don't want to suck his cock or anything. So getting him there is the hard part, but you can do it. Be confident and be sure delicious food will be offered, either you grill out, cook if you know how, or at least order and pay for the pizza.

Ok once the right guy agrees to come over, you're halfway there or more. You are kinda seducing him but that's half the fun! So, first, have the place halfway clean like you would for a chick, and pick out your clothes ahead of time. Probably nice jeans, a nice shirt, clean athletic wear if you look good in it, something that's fasionable and makes you look good. Come to the door with no shoes, just one button unbuttoned if you have a button up shirt on. Be casual but not sloppy. Make sure you smell good with no b.o. teeth brushed, well groomed but not fancy, etc. Shave your chest ahead of time if that will make you look better. (Remember, the goal involves you guys being really close and the chest is super important. He may end up rubbing it!) Next, be confident, say what's up, just be natural and be yourself, but stick to the plan. After the small talk, get him doing something he likes, playing a video game, watching something cool, a cool magazine, etc. It wouldn't hurt to have some straight porn available if the situation arises. But before you eat or watch the game or whatever, tell him you need to take a quick shower. (If you play bball or something outside, you can peel off your shirt and say 'shirts vs. skins' and laugh and see his reaction.) Anyway, don't lock the bathroom door! (Dropping hints) but go take a quick shower and get clean, put on some good cologne! Put on a towel and peek out the door and ask him if everything's cool. If he engages in talk, walk out in the towel for a minute. Otherwise, put on your sexy jeans or shorts or whatever (sexy doesn't mean skin tight) or boxer briefs if you know him better, or whatever your confortable with. But WALK OUT SHIRTLESS! Ask him if he's hungry and get the program going. Look in his eyes and gauge his reaction. If he seems uncomfortable, ask him if you should put a shirt on. BTW, have it a little on the warm side in your place, 74 degrees or so, so it seems more natural. And keep the lights on! It seems more normal plus you want to see his body, hopefully, and you want him to see yours.

Go on with the plan, but try to turn the conversation to sports and the gym. If watching football, comment on how big the guys arms are. Ask him if he works out. Have a couple sincere compliments in mind. The key body part to most any straight guys sexuality is the BICEPS. If his are big, say so! Compare to your own, or to the ones on TV, but COMPLIMENT his. If yours are bigger, find a way to flex in front of him. Drop down and do 10 pushups. You're young so go for it! Anyway, have a cloth tape measure (not the kind with the case) already in your pocket. You want to measure his biceps if they are big at all. If not, find sth. about him you like, hair color, built, height, arms, legs, sth not too gay, and give a sincere compliment!

Pretty soon you're gonna have to turn the convo. to the chest. Ask if he thinks it's weird to shave the chest. If you shave ask him that. If you think it's hairy, ask him how much hair he has on his chest, and if he thinks it's weird that you shave. If you're hairy, ask if he thinks you SHOULD shave, then ask if he's hairy. Then ask to SEE his chest so you can COMPARE. If ask real quick if he shaves his pubes too, or dick hairs, if he seems relaxed (optional).

So yeah, at this point you should hopefully be shirtless, compliment how he looks, his abs if you can, or even his nipples. Say, I'm not gay but you got a great physique or something. So then just ask for a hug or ask to give each other gut punches, whichever seems to fit his personality. Remember, keep up the sincere compliments, hair color, tan, amount of chest hair (either way) biceps, chest, clothes, even voice, atheletic ability, etc. The more comfortable you are shirtless, and talking about muscles, skin, hair, etc., the more he will be. Admire features he has and you don't. Then just say 'can I have a hug?'

If all goes well, you'll both have a great time and the next time you can get real specific about your 'fetish.' If it gets weird, just apologize and about a week later text him and say sorry it got weird, tell him he's a great guy and you hope you can still be friends.

If it's a group setting, STILL be bold and come out shirtless, take it slower, and just try to talk about muscles, working out, etc. Good luck! Sounds really hot, and I can't wait to hear what happens! I've done most of this, and IT WORKS.

ncaustin wrote:Hey man,

If you really want to do this, I can tell you how, from experience. First, choose the guy you want to bond with, or at least one you would be stoked to bond with in the shirtless hug. Next, figure out how to get him in the right situation, which is hopefully one on one. If it's in a group of guys, you can still make progress but you'll have to modify a bit. The best scenario would be camping, but a secluded beach or hiking alone would work. Or invite him to your place to watch football/grill out, play basketball or whatever he's into. Just find what he's into and center it around that. If it's too weird to just have the two of you, if you don't know him as well, make it a group thing but of course focus it around him. Remember, you're pursuing him kinda like you would a girl, even though the goal is different and you don't want to suck his cock or anything. So getting him there is the hard part, but you can do it. Be confident and be sure delicious food will be offered, either you grill out, cook if you know how, or at least order and pay for the pizza.

Ok once the right guy agrees to come over, you're halfway there or more. You are kinda seducing him but that's half the fun! So, first, have the place halfway clean like you would for a chick, and pick out your clothes ahead of time. Probably nice jeans, a nice shirt, clean athletic wear if you look good in it, something that's fasionable and makes you look good. Come to the door with no shoes, just one button unbuttoned if you have a button up shirt on. Be casual but not sloppy. Make sure you smell good with no b.o. teeth brushed, well groomed but not fancy, etc. Shave your chest ahead of time if that will make you look better. (Remember, the goal involves you guys being really close and the chest is super important. He may end up rubbing it!) Next, be confident, say what's up, just be natural and be yourself, but stick to the plan. After the small talk, get him doing something he likes, playing a video game, watching something cool, a cool magazine, etc. It wouldn't hurt to have some straight porn available if the situation arises. But before you eat or watch the game or whatever, tell him you need to take a quick shower. (If you play bball or something outside, you can peel off your shirt and say 'shirts vs. skins' and laugh and see his reaction.) Anyway, don't lock the bathroom door! (Dropping hints) but go take a quick shower and get clean, put on some good cologne! Put on a towel and peek out the door and ask him if everything's cool. If he engages in talk, walk out in the towel for a minute. Otherwise, put on your sexy jeans or shorts or whatever (sexy doesn't mean skin tight) or boxer briefs if you know him better, or whatever your confortable with. But WALK OUT SHIRTLESS! Ask him if he's hungry and get the program going. Look in his eyes and gauge his reaction. If he seems uncomfortable, ask him if you should put a shirt on. BTW, have it a little on the warm side in your place, 74 degrees or so, so it seems more natural. And keep the lights on! It seems more normal plus you want to see his body, hopefully, and you want him to see yours.

Go on with the plan, but try to turn the conversation to sports and the gym. If watching football, comment on how big the guys arms are. Ask him if he works out. Have a couple sincere compliments in mind. The key body part to most any straight guys sexuality is the BICEPS. If his are big, say so! Compare to your own, or to the ones on TV, but COMPLIMENT his. If yours are bigger, find a way to flex in front of him. Drop down and do 10 pushups. You're young so go for it! Anyway, have a cloth tape measure (not the kind with the case) already in your pocket. You want to measure his biceps if they are big at all. If not, find sth. about him you like, hair color, built, height, arms, legs, sth not too gay, and give a sincere compliment!

Pretty soon you're gonna have to turn the convo. to the chest. Ask if he thinks it's weird to shave the chest. If you shave ask him that. If you think it's hairy, ask him how much hair he has on his chest, and if he thinks it's weird that you shave. If you're hairy, ask if he thinks you SHOULD shave, then ask if he's hairy. Then ask to SEE his chest so you can COMPARE. If ask real quick if he shaves his pubes too, or dick hairs, if he seems relaxed (optional).

So yeah, at this point you should hopefully be shirtless, compliment how he looks, his abs if you can, or even his nipples. Say, I'm not gay but you got a great physique or something. So then just ask for a hug or ask to give each other gut punches, whichever seems to fit his personality. Remember, keep up the sincere compliments, hair color, tan, amount of chest hair (either way) biceps, chest, clothes, even voice, atheletic ability, etc. The more comfortable you are shirtless, and talking about muscles, skin, hair, etc., the more he will be. Admire features he has and you don't. Then just say 'can I have a hug?'

If all goes well, you'll both have a great time and the next time you can get real specific about your 'fetish.' If it gets weird, just apologize and about a week later text him and say sorry it got weird, tell him he's a great guy and you hope you can still be friends.

If it's a group setting, STILL be bold and come out shirtless, take it slower, and just try to talk about muscles, working out, etc. Good luck! Sounds really hot, and I can't wait to hear what happens! I've done most of this, and IT WORKS.

Interesting idea.

Honestly I am way too shy to pull this off convincingly. Also at my age, this kind of thing is tougher to pull off than it is in college. It's been four years since my original post. Problem is I am just not comfortable enough in my sexuality. Every time I have been in a situation that could have led to this, I've "chickened out."

I am thinking my best bet would be to become good friends with a guy who is affectionate, the kind of guy who likes to hug or stand or walk with our arms around shoulders while talking. A lot of guys out there do that. Become good enough friends with him and make physical affection a regular thing. Clothed every time though until we have known each other a decent amount of time. Then at some point do some kind of event where we are both shirtless and then initiate the affection just as if we were clothed. Something like a camping trip seems ideal. This will be difficult as well but it might work.

*mod edit*

You're only about 30 (assuming you're telling the truth). You make it sound like you're over the hill! Your body probably still looks pretty good. It would be helpful to know about your body type, especially your chest and abdomen, since that's the focus of your fantasy. What's your body look like? Also, if you're a little flabby, a gym would be a great place to meet guys AND get it shape to look better shirtless. I'm older than you and I've done this with another guy and I saw that he got a boner in his jeans

Doing this is a little hard but not impossible, and if you're like me it'll be so enjoyable and erotic it'll be well worth the wait. So just decide if you want to try to do this with one of your existing friends (that'll make it a lot more meaningful and enjoyable imo) or if you need to find someone new. Yeah, a guy with an affectionate personality is key, but if he has a hot body as well that's a bonus lol. One good thing, it really doesn't matter if he has a nice dick or not, and you don't need to ask that. Nudity may or may not come after the shirtless hug and it sounds like that's not important to you.

Having said all that, try to figure out WHY you're so shy about appearing shirtless in front of one of your buds, or how to make the situation available. As I said, your place is ideal because you can control the atmosphere more. Do you live alone? If not, it's gonna be more complicated but it can still work you'll just have to be creative. Summer may be over where you live, but a situation with hot air, even if it's cooking a hot meal in the stove or oven, may be excuse enough to peel it off, or accidentally 'spill' some grape juice on your t-shirt and then take it off.

If you got the money, getting a massage from a male masseur may be pleasureable for you and make you feel more comfortable shirtless. Remember, if you're not comfortable enough to walk around with your torso exposed, you can't really expect the other guy to either.

Anyway, good luck because your fantasy sounds hot *mod edit*. Wish I could hang out with you in our boxer briefs and give you a long tight hug. These are just some thoughts/ideas. Hope they help stud!

Hey y'all, I'm one of the mods here.

Looks as if it's about time to lock the thread. Some background/explanation...

This thread was started was back in.'12, I believe. Probably should have been in the Paraphilia forum, but for whatever reason, it wasn't.

In the last month of 2015, due to abuse by some members, the Paras forum was closed to new posts. Unfortunately, this also included the BDSM and Fetishes subforums. Also, at that point, a Paraphilia (and, by extension, a fetish or BDSM) may not be the main subject of a topic/post.

So since this thread wasn't in Fetishes, it flew under the radar.
When the thread was revived it looked as if it might be taking a non sexual turn, so we didn't lock it. However, atm it's getting that way, and while in itself it's a rather innocuous subject, fact remains that of we can't allow one para, we can't allow any.

So this thread locked against further discussion.