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Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

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Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby fake.anonymous » Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:23 am

Hey everyone,

I've been dealing with this growing problem for a while now. I for some reason completely get turned on by the idea of another guy ****ing my wife.
The thing is, I don't want to be. To be honest, that's probably my biggest fear that my wife will cheat on me, and yet I fantasize about it? She never would cheat on me, and she sure as hell would never embrace the fantasy (trust me). So it's something I have to deal with on my own and figure out.
I've read a little bit about it, and done a lot of inner reflection, and the only reasons I can think of why are these:

Either:

1. I think my wife is hot as hell, and would love to see her **** in the third person, where I can see everything, not just at a closeup. But why does the idea of me ######6 her not do it for me?

2. My wife says she's very satisfied, but my dick is only average sized. I wonder if on some level I'd like for her to get a 'deeper' pleasure by ****ing somebody better than me.

3. I'm simply embracing my worst nightmare so that if it ever does happen, I won't be as crushed.

Obviously I'm really embarassed to talk about all of this, and would really appreciate mature answers. Thanks in advance, guys.
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby jasmin » Tue Oct 26, 2010 3:40 pm

Hi, fake.anonymous! Maybe you're turning your fear into something that you feel that you can have power over, because it's your fantasy. Maybe the pleasure and turned on feeling is just part of how you try to have power over this scary thought. What do you think?
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby fake.anonymous » Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:18 pm

I think that's very possible.. But how do I bring myself past this?

Anyone else have any other ideas?
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby jasmin » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:19 pm

Maybe you could try to figure out if and why you have a fear of abandonment.
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby fake.anonymous » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:09 pm

jasmin wrote:Maybe you could try to figure out if and why you have a fear of abandonment.


Doesn't everyone, to some degree, have a fear of abandonment? I simply see so many relationships around me crumble, a lot of the time having to do with one or more spouse cheating. I would think that all married persons would harbor this fear, right?
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby jasmin » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:38 pm

Maybe there's a deeper reason why this fear has somehow turned into a sexual fetish, though, if that's what happened.
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby agirlbyanyothername » Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:13 pm

This is a common fantasy for a lot of men. It's called cuckolding. It could be you just enjoy the idea of having such a hot wife that other guys want to sleep with her. It might suggest a submissive kink, but I wouldn't stress too much about it. It's just a fantasy and just because it turns you on doesn't mean you have to make it reality.

I wouldn't obsess or over-analyze it too much. You can try and find where and why this kink was sparked, but I don't see what good that will do you. I say just have fun with the fantasy.
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby gaba » Thu Dec 23, 2010 10:06 am

Its a perv, a fetish called cuckolding. Probably comes out of inner conflicts you will not even know are happening.

I know, I have had it since I was 13. (works for girlfriends too).

I have lots of fantasies and fetishes, this one is powerful as it works alongside jealousy and fear of losing.

Embracing it is not a good idea as it will just get ever more pervasive. Like any other perversion you will have a fight to get rid of it, and will probably be fighting it forever.

Buy a porno mag (with women only) and think straight thoughts while you relieve the pressure. :wink:
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby gaba » Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:41 am

I wrote the above as I assumed fake annonymous to be young and / or have young children.

I wanted to point out that embracing your perversion is not always a good idea, as it will get worse and more extreme, as any thrill needs to be a little more thrilling each time.

However after reading it again I noticed the author was using words like cheat, and the concept of everything - his whole world revolving around sex.

This seems to be a common thread here, on these boards, and in life in general. People are confused, and get in a real mess over sex and fidelity.

I never hear anyone stand up and say 'wait a minute' ' Since when did the world start revolving around your crotch?'

Say for example your wife couldn't have children, aside from disease, what LOGICAL reason is there for you to be unhappy if she had a quick fling? ( I don't mean just that she wasn't home in time to cook dinner unhappy, I mean what makes people pick up a gun and start shooting everyone, sort of unhappy)
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Re: Wife sharing fantasy... Embracing my nightmare?

Postby agirlbyanyothername » Thu Dec 30, 2010 11:06 pm

Sorry, but I completely disagree. The way you talk about it, anything we fantasize about or turns is on is a perversion to be ashamed of. Some fantasies can be fulfilled easily and without much drama. Some require caution, a lot of trust and a lot communication in order to be explored safely. Cuckolding is no more pervy or shameful than any other turn-on or kink that can be explored mutually and respectfully. The same applies to threesomes, BDSM, Foot-fetishes, Pie-throwing fetishes, and anything outside the ordinary-yet-safe-realm.

I agree that some fantasies should remain fantasies. Just because something turns us on in our minds doesn’t mean we’ll enjoy the reality. A lot of straight women are aroused by lesbian pornography, but have found no interest in having sex with other women. Anything that involves your partner sleeping with someone else is also a potential relationship-killer. Does that mean you should stop fantasizing about threesomes in your head? No! There’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s not as though the OP has an irresistible urge to flash his genitals in public or masturbate in front of unsuspecting women. Those are scenarios where you don’t want to explore and test in real life because there are real consequences and a real danger of those compulsions growing over time.
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