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hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

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hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby MrBlues » Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:39 am

I think this is a fantasy that is starting to take hold on me within my marriage and I am wondering if I am right to accept it 'as a fantasy' or not. Take it for granted that reality is another thing and that I value and respect my wife' and her sexual desires.

One of the most lucid non porno explanations is here http://www.mfm10.tripod.com and this is clearly biased to a bloke that wants or does play with this scenario.

From chats on the web I am migrating towards couples who do seem to be able to make this work out- at least seem to in the short-term.

So it seems to be a genuine aspect of the human condition, which validates it in a way. However, in one agony column I caught sight of a counter argument to a guy wondering if he should because his wife wanted to try an MMF. The gist was don't go there as it will only exaggerate your sexual insecurities -get some 'lead in your pencil' and make her yours and make yourself and her believe that you all things sexual to her all of the time.

I have lost shape in middle age and am married to a woman in much better sexual/physical condition so it is believable that my fantasy is symptomatic of a subconcious acceptance of a an increasing asymmetry in sexual prowess. In which case put up a fight at any cost, get as fit as possible buy her loads of chocolates and try to close down the gap

On the other hand it may also be true that it is symptomatic of greater sexual enlightenment and emotional maturity and a rejection of the dogmas and norms of sexual conduct. In which case no worries, but get fit as its good for you anyway for mnay reasons
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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby Chucky » Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:20 am

Hi,

What more is it but a fantasy? There is no ulterior/hidden meaning to what's happening. Everyone wants things to change every once in a while, and not expecting things to change is wrong. Right now, things have change, and that thing which has changed is that your sexual 'adventurousness' has migrated to another level. If you don't give the fantasy much attention, it may fade away

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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby MrBlues » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:41 pm

Chucky wrote:What more is it but a fantasy? ...Right now, things have change, and that thing which has changed is that your sexual 'adventurousness' has migrated to another level.


I like the adea that it is generally symptomatic of increased lbido and adventurousness rather than of deeper meaning. These days it is not uncommon to have to relieve a distracting erection several times a day in the loos as well as have more and better sex with the wife. I've managed to keep communicating with the wife and we are coming up with joint ideas to be more adventurous.

I pity the guys/girls who get sexual rushes like this and can't have this conversation with their partners or if they do they don't manage to elicite a constructive response. Chat rooms seem to be littered with the 'well meaning' married on the prowl for a sexual diversion.
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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby dj0042 » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:47 am

I am glad I found this site. I am struggling with the same exact thoughts and feelings you have expressed. What have you read about this? Any resources? I have beat myself up about it being some type of issue I need to speak with someone on. I got up enough nerve to speak with my wife about it and she was very understanding but I still don't feel right to think this way about her. She would never go outside of our marriage which I actually found as a relief. The thoughts come and go but seem to linger longer each time they come. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby gaba » Thu Dec 23, 2010 10:54 am

The thing that gets me about all this wife / husband / belonging lark is...

Whats the problem? Its just a 'bunk up' I think it is the people who obsess over fidelity who have the problem.

The way I see it is that you want to know your kids are your own, for the sake of Darwin, and that's it.

A relationship is kept for the sake of the children and you do what you have to in order that everyone benefits.

What difference does it make if a partner does it with someone else? Is it like a car and you don't want anyone else sitting in it?

If its because you are worried he / she will run off then its understandable, but if you can't put it into words, just feel angry when someone even looks at your partner, then you have internal issues.

As for you DJ, you can easily neutralize it at your age, since you have only started having these thoughts recently. But if you are not planning any more children, why not indulge?

What do you think 'personal trainers' are for? Pick her a nice young athletic pretty boy. Keep it a secret between you and him, everyone has loads of fun. The spice will be back in your life and the sparkle in her eye. :roll:

You can also keep the video evidence to stop the ear assault when she catches you with next doors wife. :wink:
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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby Johnb » Fri Dec 24, 2010 5:15 pm

Unless you ate 100% confident in your abilityto lead any mmf interaction, and be in control the whole time, don't go near trying to act this out. If your woman senses weakness or insecurity from you within this interaction, you willbe expletived. That said, if you can controlthe interaction and can actually get off on telling your girl what to do with anotherguy, it can be very hot. But it is dangerous ground.
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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby gaba » Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:14 am

Just to sum up what I said earlier;

I am all in favor of fighting against pervs and fetishes[b][/b]

However If you are getting older already lost the fight anyway, and no harm is being done.

If you are concerned that your wife will run away then fair go, but if its some fit young guy from the gym, and he is just fulfilling his duty to keep the older girls fit and healthy, where's the problem?

If another guy is chasing your girl, it will put the spice back into your lives.

Figure what, if any harm could be done, and take precautions to safeguard against it. I would talk to the guy about it and leave her in the dark, she will think she is having a secret affair and immediately appear 20 years younger.
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Re: hot-wife/ shared-wife fantasy

Postby witney_man » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:58 pm

I have lived with this all of my life. From a very young age I knew I wanted my female partners to experience and have sexual relationships with my friends, and their friends. I actually feel more comfortable in a relationship when my partner is having sex with others (both with and without my knowledge, although the signs are obvious)

It has, over the years, cost me many relationships. Many women believe that i want to 'pimp' or 'whore' them to my friends, but it isn't like that at all - my sexuality is one that requires my female partners to be promiscuous. It is unusual, and I haven't met many other men who 'need' their partners to 'sleep around' [I use these terms in quote marks because I'm not happy with the shallowness of the language - it's much deeper], and always, always, consensually and without pressure. a yes is a yes, and a no means no.

Thankfully I met and married a woman who not only listened and tried to understand, but accepted me and took lovers. It was the most peaceful I have ever felt. Such happy times. Sadly due to a combination of a botched medical procedure on her cervix and her regular lover moving away our sex life has taken a bit of a hit. This naturally has lead to some tension, but we talk, and through kindness and love and support, we're making our way through it. We're planning on taking my best friend on holiday in the autumn, to share our lifestyle with him.

Talking is by far the most important thing in this context. It is important to talk constantly about the feelings that arise and the way it will change your relationship. with the application of honesty about the sexuality of this, you will hopefully find that your love deepens. We know when she has a lover(s) we spend a lot more time cuddling and kissing like teenagers (we're both in our early forties).

Not only is it a fundamental part of who I am, it's also incredibly erotic - but keep communicating all the time.
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