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Emotional attachment following sex?

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Emotional attachment following sex?

Postby Belladonna » Sat May 16, 2009 9:28 am

I don't know if this is the right forum for this but I've read/heard stories about how people feel some sort of an attachment with their partner after sex. I myself have never experienced such a thing.

I've never slept with the same person twice, and am often bothered when they try to call me or talk to me afterwards because once it's over, it's over for me. I really can't understand how a person I've only seen once in my life and barely spoken to can tell me that they've fallen in love with me. I've never had this problem with women, only with men.

I'm posting this now because I got another one of those calls yesterday. I thought maybe the people in this part of the forum would have more insight into such matters.

edit: I obviously know that there is some sort of a bonding connected to sex. It's just that I've always thought it was the other way around - you have sex with someone you're emotionally attached to, rather than growing emotional attachments to your partner after sex. My... nature prevents me from growing emotional attachments of any sort, so this is all a bit confusing to me.
Last edited by Belladonna on Sat May 16, 2009 7:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Bonding after sex ?

Postby Incorrigible » Sat May 16, 2009 10:25 am

Perhaps you would get more replies in the relationship or sexuality forums. How do you know they're actually forming any attachment to you at all? They could be BSing you to try and get seconds. You should never underestimate the power of snatch; regardless of who it's attached to..
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Re: Bonding after sex ?

Postby Belladonna » Sat May 16, 2009 12:34 pm

Incorrigible wrote:How do you know they're actually forming any attachment to you at all? They could be BSing you to try and get seconds.


It isn't just about me though. Sex in general seems to have an interesting effect on people, one that I really cannot understand.

It could be that they are trying to get seconds. But men have a strange, emotional way of acting right after sex - when they don't even know if they are getting seconds or not.

I wonder if it's hormonal.
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Postby Belladonna » Sat May 16, 2009 12:44 pm

I just found this...

http://www.moodraiser.com/2007/11/peace ... tocin.html

edit: just watched the video. Wow. :roll:
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Postby hsieh » Sat May 16, 2009 1:58 pm

that's a very original, interesting, creative avatar you have.

did you make it yourself?

i like it.

it's cool.
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Postby Belladonna » Sat May 16, 2009 2:36 pm

hsieh wrote:that's a very original, interesting, creative avatar you have.

did you make it yourself?

i like it.

it's cool.


Really? Why thank you hsieh. We've got this kid on the forums though, he thinks my shoulders are too tiny. Would you believe it? The funny thing is that the girl in the picture isn't really me, though I do look like her. As for the kid, based on what I've just been reading about oxytocin and whatnot, I can guess that he really needs a hug. Or to get laid.
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Postby Incorrigible » Sat May 16, 2009 5:44 pm

What do you mean by "strange, emotional way of acting"? I've had sex many times and I don't think I get any extra emotions I didn't already have prior to the act. That video...I don't know how true all that is. But if it were true, then high testosterone would explain why I don't feel all the lovey-dovey effects from that oxytocin. The guys calling you...are they the "manly" type? What I mean is, are they the type who would have high testosterone?
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Postby BetterThanYou » Sat May 16, 2009 7:23 pm

Doa, just because I wouldn't sleep with you doesn't mean I "need to get laid".
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Postby Belladonna » Sat May 16, 2009 7:47 pm

Incorrigible wrote:What do you mean by "strange, emotional way of acting"? I've had sex many times and I don't think I get any extra emotions I didn't already have prior to the act. That video...I don't know how true all that is. But if it were true, then high testosterone would explain why I don't feel all the lovey-dovey effects from that oxytocin. The guys calling you...are they the "manly" type? What I mean is, are they the type who would have high testosterone?


They are regular, attractive, boy-next-door sort of guys. Not exactly macho, if that's what you mean. I've left the hairy ones for the more submissive types.

BetterThanYou wrote:Doa, just because I wouldn't sleep with you doesn't mean I "need to get laid".


Oh please, please don't.

I was merely making an attempt at explaining your aggressive behavior through lack of physical contact. It's all in the article, mate.
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Postby Incorrigible » Sat May 16, 2009 9:37 pm

Maybe that's the problem; you're choosing submissive types. I won't state it as fact, but I believe the more submissive guys have a higher tendency to develop one-itis. Give them sex and they might get "pussy-whipped". I have no idea what you look like, but I would probably have a go with you. But once it's over, there's a good chance I'll turn around and throw you in a garbage can. I don't have any emotions for you right now, and I highly doubt any would develop after sex. It's nothing personal. I'm just using you as an example since I'm talking with you atm.

That video reminds me of an infomercial. Who knows if oxytocin is really responsible for anything. Just look at the guys they used. None were the "macho" type. If they took their shirts off, they might even have moobs. I would think their estrogen levels would play a bigger factor in their "feelings" than oxytocin. Perhaps the oxy is increasing their estrogen levels somehow. Who knows. But increased E does cause guys to get all sappy.

Go back to the hairy ones for 3 weeks for testing purposes.
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