Masterbation destroys my energy

Hi, I'm 26 years old and believe I have a major problem when it comes to masterbating and sex which I hope someone here can help me with.

As long as I can remember back right after masterbation I've become overly tired, grumpy, emotional, even depressed to the point where I cannot function properly and I become a different person. I've found it to take generally 3 to 4 days before I can get my physical energy level back to normal. This also happens when I have sex. Normally, it happens 20 minutes after I ejaculate. I fall into this routine over and over again. Ejaculation equals over all bodily weakness for me for a few days.

It has gotten me so frustrated over the years because I don't know how to get help for this and I've been to over 20 Doctors about it and they give me silly advice like telling me to drink Ginger Tea and eat protein to get my energy back up. I've even been told that I may have a Pshycological problem. in other words they have suggested that theres something wrong with what I believe about sex in general which causes me to feel and think a certain way afterwards based in my MIND. It's all in my head I've been told.

To me, that would be like telling a handicapt person that he's not handicapt at all, in fact, "Theres nothing wrong with your body". It Doesn't take a Scientist to look at a handicapt guy and realize it's not in his head. No, it's definitely physical what I'm feeling here. It affects my body and screws up my emotions for a few days... My energy, how I'm able to focus and I also become slower and much weaker PHYSICALLY.

Now, I love sex as much as the next fella, but sometimes I've had to put it off knowing I need to focus the next day and be on top of my game, so I better not have sex or masterbate Because I know that I will have to pay the price if I do. It may seem silly but how it's affecting my life is no joke. I have sex or masterbate and then suffer because of it.

Please tell me there is someone on here who can give me adequate advice concerning this problem of mine. I know it's normal to feel tired or even relaxed after sex, but like I said this is definitely not what I'm experiencing. I'm hoping someone can recognize this problem and give me a possible solution. Trust me, I'm very open to what you may have to say because I'm starving for an answer here. Thank you for your time.

Hi i experience exactly the same thing as what you described. have you found any solutions??

I am desperatly looking for info on this problem with anxiety and moodiness after masterbation, My own thoughts is that it is psychological. It is a subconsiouse feeling of shame and failure, for me it only happens after masterbation and not sex.

I'm so glad I found this topic. Finally, someone who can relate to my own problem instead of convincing me that I'm just having trouble to accept my sexuality! This information is really helpful to me.

I have the same problem, and like you, I'm convinced that the problem is chemical, not psychological. I know this because if I masturbate but stop before ejaculation, I have no problem at all. However, if I continue for just a second longer, the results are dramatic. Some of the worst days of my life were after relapses into masturbation. My personal approach to this problem is celibacy, but I've found some other methods that can reduce the burnout.

However, striking, and, I believe, very important is that I noticed this effect only after I started to abstain from sexuality, based on a theory I read at that time from Freud, that sexual energies can be sublimated. The first few times this happened, this effect was only moderate. However, once I had managed to abstain for several months, the effect of masturbation was so dramatic that my depressive symptoms doubled in intensity. I figured that as I became more and more used to the heightened energy caused by sublimation, the descent into normal energy levels came as such a letdown that I could no longer cope with it. The sudden loss of drive came with a sense of failure and disappointment.

Perhaps you could say that the problem is not sexuality at all. Perhaps you are merely depressed, and abstaining from sexuality helps you to keep a relatively normal level of motivation. Ejaculation causes a release of prolactin, a hormone which is meant to regulate sexual drive; it does this by decreasing the other sex hormones, which themselves increase overall drive through dopamine. Thus, prolactin reduces dopamine. In decreasing sexual desire, it decreases desire in general.

Prolactin remains elevated for as long as 14 days after orgasm, though, of course, there is usually such overlap that most people do not even notice the effect, anymore than they notice the effect of insulin after meals (which also decreases dopamine).

Some people are more sensitive to the effects of prolactin than others. If you have a lot of dopamine receptors and so depend a lot on dopamine, it will have more effect. For instance, I, as an artist, need a lot of dopamine. For other people, serotonin and noradrenaline, which are increased after masturbation or sex rather than decreased, are more important. And for some people, dopamine can actually be undesirable. For instance, people who are obsessive-compulsive have their symptoms worsened by higher dopamine levels. For some people, especially creative people, dopamine is so important that without it, they will get bored pretty quickly. For other people, especially people who wish nothing more than to live in a fixed routine, a too-high dopamine level will only be frustrating, because it will give them a need for something more. They cannot satisfy this need because all they want is a safe and comfortable life; thus, they get rid of this need by transferring it into sexuality.

There are ways to avoid a drop in dopamine after orgasm, however. One is to contract the pubococcygeus muscle, located in the perineum, when ejaculation is imminent. This will require some training, however, especially during sex. During masturbation, it can help pressing the prostrate. However, this way, your sexual desires can never be fully satisfied, and may only be tantalized by their incomplete satisfaction, so that you eventually end up ejaculating eventually. Using the technique of stopping ejaculation will require discipline.

Of course, a way to decrease the effects of prolactin may also be to masturbate or have sex only before going to sleep. The effects of prolactin are worst the first few hours after ejaculation. If you are asleep during that period, it doesn't really matter — in fact, the decrease in dopamine may actually help you sleep. People who use antipsychotics often do this, because the antihistaminergic effect makes them feel like a zombie.

Another possible way to avoid the burnout after orgasm is to find a sexual partner you love. Having sex with someone in an affectionate way, especially someone with whom you have a romantic relationship, will still release prolactin, but also other hormones which offset the effect of prolactin, such as oxytocin and vasopressin, vasopressin being released mostly in males and oxytocin mostly in females. Relaxed and tender foreplay will increase the release of these hormones in any case.

Oxytocin and vasopressin both increase dopamine and sex hormones, but decrease prolactin. Both hormones also increase serotonin, noradrenaline and endorphin, while decreasing glutamate. Oxytocin, aka "hug hormone," is known to decrease tolerance to endorphins, which is basically the problem I think you're having.

If you can't find anyone, and you are unable or unwilling to abstain from masturbating, try to do this, instead, in as affectionate a way as possible. If you can, you might even try to caress yourself in doing so. If you don't like masturbation, chances are that you do it almost as an obligation, and that your only thought as you do it is that you shouldn't be. At times, it might even get so far that you would do it out of spite rather than out of love for yourself, or that you would do it just to get rid of the fear that you might do it again.

At all times, try to let sexuality be something meditative. Relax. Focus your attention entirely on sense of touch. This will further increase the release of oxytocin and vasopressin.

A very similar phenomenon is found in heroin addiction. Heroin, like endorphin, stimulates the µ opioid receptors; in high dosages, this causes the release of prolactin, as during orgasm. You could say that most people are basically all endorphin junkies. The only reason why this problem isn't as dangerous as heroin addiction and remains relatively stable is that there is no way to increase the dosage.

I myself have chosen to solve this problem through abstinence. However, abstinence is the hardest road, and it's bound to cause severe anxieties at some point. I've experimented now and then with methods with which I had hoped to eliminate these anxieties without causing any loss of energy, but so far, without luck. I've recently given up my last experiment in trying to sublimate my sexuality in a more pure way, without the side effects of anxiety, and I think I'll just try to accept the anxiety and become completely celibate again. Through strong will, I've conquered most problems with remaining abstinent over long periods of time, even periods of nearly a year.

I will, however, try one last thing: in the past, fearing that I would relapse into masturbation, I repressed every sexual impulse I felt. I believe this is the cause of my anxieties, and made it so hard to control the increased energy caused by abstinence. From now on, whenever such impulse occurs, rather than quashing it I will now try instead to transfer it through hypnotic suggestion.

Something I forgot to add: I can assure you that, contrary to what was said in some of the posts above, loss of nutrients is certainly not the cause of the burnout. As you probably know yourself, the feelings of emptiness are fairly immediate after orgasm, contrary to what one would expect if it occurred because the body had to produce new sperm. Also, I never had the slightest problem when I have a nocturnal ejaculation. The first time I had a nocturnal ejaculation after a long period of abstinence, I was worried that I might experience the same effects as during waking ejaculation, but I was fine.

Thank you very much for the info posted prior to this post. The reason I think it is psychological is that It simply does not happen to me unless I masturbate. If I have sex with a woman it is completely different, I feel happy, as it should be. Chemicals released in the body can be the result of a thought or some psychological process, could be somewhat pavlovian, perhaps a person has a physical reaction to masturbation because they have been conditioned by years of feeling it is wrong or it is a cop out. Doing something wrong can cause anxiety and should cause a little anxiety. Just maybe as we grow older we understand masturbation is ok but we are still conditioned to feel anxiety because subconsiously we feel it is wrong. I am not a psychologist but I have lived with this all my life. If it was chemical related I would feel it after sex just as I feel it after masturbation. but I do not feel if after sex I feel the opposite. And please do not think this is just a little feeling that could be easily mistaken, it is pronounced just as the posters before me have mentioned. It simply cant be strictly physical (chemical) I believe it is both. certain Chemicals are released because of a feeling of shame or doing something wrong just as certain chemicals are released after doing something good, such as perhaps dopomine. Maybe when the natural chemicals released durring ejaculation are mixed with other chemicals caused by shame they cause anxiety.

here is a post from another site I was reading, this is exactly what I just said.

First, panic/ anxiety attacks suck. Most people think anxiety/panic attacks are fake or attention seeking. Also masterbation (masturbation) is some how burrowed in our heads as a bad thing. I personally know when I feel guilty or worried about a situation that is out of my control, I have severe panic attacks. Maybe this is what is happening to you. If you are materbaiting to relieve stress (or for whatever reason), then somewhere in the back of your mind you feel guilty, that could trigger a panic attack. If you have not already seen your MD or a psyc of sorts, you should. There are several meds that help w anxiety. When taken as prescribed and learning how to reason with yourself during a panic attack, the attacks become less severe and less often! Also these meds have come a long way. Most of them do not have the nasty sexual side effects like they used to have. LOL In fact I have a male friend who does not want to stop his meds, bc he says he last longer and has better sensation. Good Luck- Blondie2334

go to www.medhelp.org and type in some key words, ie: masturbation, anxiety

When I said it was likely to be chemical, I was talking mostly about Terrible Shape and myself. However, it's a bit hard to see the distinction between chemistry and psychology. The two are basically just two facets of the same thing. Chemistry is mostly quantitative, psychology mostly qualitative. If you touch out of affection, you usually feel a warm connection to that person, meanwhile releasing oxytocin. Is this chemical or psychological? Is it the oxytocin which is released from the psychological emotion, or is it the psychological emotion which is caused by the chemical? Or are they both just the same thing, just seen in another way? I don't mean to say that psychology is nothing more than chemistry, no more than a novel is nothing but letters. The chemical aspect of it just usually measures the amount there is of each letter.

In the past, I did feel that masturbation was wrong, but this was because masturbation effectively drained my energies, and so it meant a failure to do it; this sense of failure worsened my already very negative feelings. It's quite possible Terrible Shape has the same contributing factor to his low energy, but when I read his post, it doesn't seem like he has any moral objections to masturbation in itself.

I know for one thing that against that sense of failure, meditation is useful to push the reset button and just live in the present again. For me, this sense of failure was particularly intense because I abstain for long periods of time. If you do this, you notice that it takes no less than two weeks before your energy levels reach their maximum again.

As for guilt related to masturbation, well, I think a chemical reaction related to guilt would probably be the decrease of dopamine already mentioned. Psychological guilt can be caused if you masturbate as a means of escape. For some people, the burnout can be a benefit because it drains them from the need to achieve something, whereas all they want is to be content. It may also be caused by the absence of a partner. Perhaps we are subconsciously inclined to find it almost pathetic to seek sexual gratification without sex, as it is, after all, something incomplete. I do not think we were meant to masturbate. It's quite unnatural, and so our minds aren't attuned to it.

Hello,

Thank you for this topic. I've been suffering exactly the same as the creator of the topic. He explained everything so well I couldn't have done better.

2 Things that did manage to help combat the drowsiness for me, was Carrots & Also coffee which I never drink, but would drink it sometimes to help with the feelings of drowsiness on these occasions.

These supplements unfortunately doesn't do anything about the feelings of frustration or irritability, or even the cramps & back aches I get when I exercise too soon after masturbating (1-2 days)

Thanks again op, It's good to know we aren't alone
BTW I am 24 going on 25 in July

sparrowhawk09 wrote:Thank you very much for the info posted prior to this post. The reason I think it is psychological is that It simply does not happen to me unless I masturbate. If I have sex with a woman it is completely different, I feel happy, as it should be. Chemicals released in the body can be the result of a thought or some psychological process, could be somewhat pavlovian, perhaps a person has a physical reaction to masturbation because they have been conditioned by years of feeling it is wrong or it is a cop out. Doing something wrong can cause anxiety and should cause a little anxiety. Just maybe as we grow older we understand masturbation is ok but we are still conditioned to feel anxiety because subconsiously we feel it is wrong. I am not a psychologist but I have lived with this all my life. If it was chemical related I would feel it after sex just as I feel it after masturbation. but I do not feel if after sex I feel the opposite. And please do not think this is just a little feeling that could be easily mistaken, it is pronounced just as the posters before me have mentioned. It simply cant be strictly physical (chemical) I believe it is both. certain Chemicals are released because of a feeling of shame or doing something wrong just as certain chemicals are released after doing something good, such as perhaps dopomine. Maybe when the natural chemicals released durring ejaculation are mixed with other chemicals caused by shame they cause anxiety.

It is chemical too, its just that maybe the psych benefits of sex outweigh the physical loss. Athletes don't have sex 2-3 days before a big fight or big game, its known that ejaculation makes you unfocused, weak, and less aggressive. It literally takes 10lbs off my bench press.

Its amazing that this issue is so self-evident to men but 90% of the info on the net is so dismissive towards it and reads like propaganda to be honest.

Hm, my opinion is different, pal if you are tired from your work, from busy day that even try to start to masturbate can become even more tired and will need good rest, before go on...