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Guilt over prostitute

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Guilt over prostitute

Postby cheesyname1 » Sun Jun 21, 2015 2:25 pm

So I need some advice how to calm down. I've been really stupid and confused lately. I broke up with my gf 2.5 months ago. I was interested in another girl at work. I've spent 2.5 months courting this girl and its been tough. She has played hard to get and left me in the dark a lot about how she feels. I'm neurotic so I've obsessed about it too much and worn myself out. I really wanted her. I struggled at the same time to adjust to being single and I have still been seeing my ex even having sex with her a few times. Its pretty stupid and I've been too weak to hold back. I'm emotionally weak unfortunately though I hide it from the world. I have been in daily contact with my ex because I'm used to her and she gives me comfort and vice versa. We get on very well. Now basically.. This new girl from work has stepped up her interest and now wants me. She has told someone else that she will tell me this Friday that she is my birthday present. So that's me getting the girl finally. But I did something so stupid... Ive also used a prostitute 4 times in the past 2.5 months, different ones. Ive just felt so lonely and needy.The first 3 times didn't bother me at all I'm okay with it I'm single and it was clean and all and I didn't know if the work girl would ever want me. But last Thursday I used a 4th one. This is after finally knowing that the work girl will be my gf in a week. I don't even know why I went. This is after finding out that the work girl wants to be my gf. I now feel extremely, extremely guilty and messed up about it. My anxiety has been through the roof since it happened. I've had insomnia for 6 weeks and haven't slept at all lately. I don't know how I can look this girl in the eyes this week. For some reason this 4th prostitute use has screwed up my mind. I'm an idiot for doing it, such an idiot. But we won't actually be official partners until Friday. How do I relax? How do i not feel so horrible inside? I can't even think straight. I want this girl from work but I feel like a massive, massive fool. I don't know what i was thinking.
cheesyname1
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