I recently got back in touch with my half sister. Our dad cheated on her mom with mine, and we didn't
grow up together. I knew she existed, but we hadn't met until we were teenagers. When I was 15, and she was 14, I moved in with my dad for a few years. It was cool to finally meet my siblings, but our dad was very abusive. Nothing sexual happened between us then, besides walking into the bathroom on each other a few times. I saw her getting changed once because our dad confiscated her door. Despite the fact that we didn't grow up together, we have everything in common it seems. We like the same music, play the same instruments, we like the same everything, like a weird female clone. At 17 I moved out of the house, and lost contact with everyone but her. Five years later, I'm 22 and she's 20. Our dad finally got help for his bipolar disorder, so I decided it would be good to reconnect with his family. Everything's going well, but I can't help but feel this attraction to my half sister. She seems like the perfect girl for me, and there's an air of sexual tension every time we chill. Last week we were smoking ganja at her place, and she said that my new haircut looked cute, then said she had a crush on me when we were kids, but that it was before she knew it was messed up. A few days later we were at my apartment, and I was telling her that my lease is up, so she proposed that we roommate. I don't know if I can handle that, we're both bipolar/ADHD and have talked about how vyvanse makes us both hyper sexual. We both just got out of long term relationships, and are the "messups" of our family. It just seems like a perfect storm for bad things to happen. I don't want to feel this way, but I can't help it. I'm not sure how she feels about me, but she gets upset when I talk about my ex, dating, sex. I slept with her friend a few years ago, and she hasn't spoken to her since. also when we were kids and saw eachother naked I recall her not trying to cover up. When she stays at my house she sleeps on my couch in her underwear because "screw you it's comfortable" but it just makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't understand why this is happening, and I keep getting vibes from her. What the hell am I supposed to do? I know it's wrong but I want her so badly..