Our partner

Gay fantasies - How do I stop them?

Open Discussions about Sexuality and Related Issues.

Gay fantasies - How do I stop them?

Postby willkye92 » Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:50 am

I already know my sexual identity- I am heterosexual, but when I'm aroused I often have gay sexual fantasies. When I'm not aroused the idea of gay sex does not appeal to me whatsoever. The only way for me to not fantasize about a man is when my fantasies (or pornography) do not include men. Anyway, one time these fantasies got the best of me, and I actually had a gay experience. It was only an oral sex experience and I did NOT like it (Maybe it was because I was too nervous, I'm not sure). After that I stopped having gay fantasies... for a while. They came back after a couple of weeks, and since then I have just accepted, and enjoyed them. Every once in a while I will find a guy on line and we will have a skype session (I hardly ever enjoy it, but the fantasies make me want it so much). I didn't think this was a problem until recently when I started seriously considering having sex with a man. I need to stop these fantasies before I end up doing something that I totally regret. I understand that it's a matter of will power, but I don't want to fight it for the rest of my life.
willkye92
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2012 4:52 am
Local time: Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:11 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Gay fantasies - How do I stop them?

Postby HesDeltanCaptain » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:12 am

Why do you believe you need to stop them? Chances are you enjoy fellatio and anal sex with girls, and it hasn't escaped your notice that gay sex has this too so you naturally wonder what it'd be like. Perhaps because of the fact that gay sex among gay men is much more readily available and accepted than in straight pairings. Having the fantasies are perfectly normal and I'd think a person lying if they claimed they never had any at all. But having sexual fantasies is fine and healthy, it's when fantasy becomes reality that problems can arise. Not in this instance but in general.

For myself, a bisexual man, my fantasies became reality when after lots of sex with girls I wnated to experience sex "on the receiving end" and be made love to, as compared to making love to someone. I think when our experience with something is entirely one-way it's only natural to start wondering about it from the other side of things. As with straight people having gay/lesbian fantasies.

The fantasies can't be stopped and even acting upon them isn't gonna make them go away. My advice is simply enjoy them. Long as an act you're uncomfortable with as a reality remains in your head what's the harm? Can't control our thoughts afterall. If it were a sin to imagine a grey elephant, everyone who just read that would have sinned. Only actions can be sinful or bad.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I pretended to be." - Me.
HesDeltanCaptain
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1221
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:19 am
Local time: Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:11 pm
Blog: View Blog (10)

Re: Gay fantasies - How do I stop them?

Postby madyg » Tue Apr 02, 2013 4:20 pm

I think that you have natural curiosity, but you are too obsessed that you will become gay. Just relax man...Don't be so much nervous in giving label to yourself. :)
madyg
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:57 pm
Local time: Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:11 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Gay fantasies - How do I stop them?

Postby HesDeltanCaptain » Thu Apr 25, 2013 8:21 pm

Growing up with porn, straight and lesbian, I went from enjoying the site of men and owmen enjoying each other to wanting to try it with a guy. Have had more gay lovers than women but never cum with another guy. I enjoy the sex, but it doesn't get me off like I do with women. I identify as bisexual (for those who need labels, I prefer simply 'sexual') but to me gay sex is just fun. Relationships proper are with women.

I wouldn't think having gay fantasies is anything that needs to be stopped. And indeed it's probably impossible since we can't control our thoughts. Example: don't think of a white elephant. :) We can't not think of something until we think of it. Just one of those weird things. :) The more you try to suppress gay imagery and thoughts or fantasies, the more they'll be in your mind. Instead, try to simply see it as something you tried, but didn't enjoy, but is a part of your sexuality.Like any straight-sex act you tried but don't care for. Just because you may not enjoy analingus doesn't mean you're going to stop having sex with women.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I pretended to be." - Me.
HesDeltanCaptain
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1221
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:19 am
Local time: Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:11 pm
Blog: View Blog (10)

Re: Gay fantasies - How do I stop them?

Postby phxbot » Fri Aug 16, 2013 12:52 pm

Just go with the flow. I am a bisexual age 50. A few years ago I acted on my gay fantasies and now spend about one day per week at the gay bathhouse. I take anal with a few guys but never come myself. Just great fun.
phxbot
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 8:44 pm
Local time: Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:11 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Sexuality Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 106 guests

cron