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Havn't done sex for a year & coming very too soon...

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Havn't done sex for a year & coming very too soon...

Postby mazit » Thu Mar 09, 2017 7:45 am

Hello guys im new to this forum. 27 years old. I suffer from anxiety and depression therfore havn't been in relations for awhile now, aswel didn't had sex for a year or so...

My mental health become better lately, thank god, therfore I re-opened to society... met few woman and 1 of them became good friend which we also had sex couple of time.

first time It took me bout 5 minutes to come, 2nd time (after a week) I took it will get better, actually it got worst, I came in 1-2 minutes...
although masturbation takes me for like 30 to 60 minutes to come...

I must say that it happens both when the girl looks just OK or when she looks really really good... I fugred after penetration I already start feeling im going to come...

I got really upset and abit depressed again, I'm better now mental wise and can hit on woman tho when it comes to sex i come way too quick so I once again feel bad and may avoid sex and woman once again for awhile...


any self opinions or feedback?

Thank you..
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Re: Havn't done sex for a year & coming very too soon...

Postby 1520617453 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:16 pm

You mentioned anxiety and depression. How do the anxiety symptoms show themselves? Are they related with vegetative dysfunction and panic attacks?
If yes, then this could be the reason for your very short sexual duration, because you unintentionally want everything to finish quickly, to “avoid” some unexpected panic attack.

Nevertheless, there could also be other reasons:

1) Strong conflict within you. One part of you really wants to enjoy sex and get the wholesome satisfaction, while the other part feels the shame about sexual urge and sex itself (could be the result of overly strict rearing, where everything related with sex was depicted as bad and impure).

An unconscious compromise in this conflicting situation is the sex with premature ejaculation, which includes all those opposite things, mentioned above – you get some sexual satisfaction, but it is followed by the shame and confusion.

The solution in this situation could be the silencing of the voice, which lives in your head (usually this is the voice of parents, teachers and a society as a whole) and tells you to feel ashamed about sex and sexual urge. Instead, you have to make a lot louder your inner, authentic voice that tells you that sex is good, sex is healthy, sex is pure and you really want to enjoy it much longer and as much as possible.

2) The other reason could be the fear to lose the erection, therefore you do everything so intensely, that your excitement grows really fast. In this situation you have to calm down and learn to trust your body.

Recently on this forum I already gave some advice on how to improve one’s emotional health and sexual performance, so if you would like to know more, I invite you to read my answer under this post - sexual-dysfunctions/topic191275.html
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Re: Havn't done sex for a year & coming very too soon...

Postby mazit » Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:46 am

hey, thank you for your feedback. I do feel everything you said. and I'm treated with psych meds and cognitive sessions... from 1 side I feel that as soon as Ill get back on the horse and have more sex the "panic" will go away , 2nd side is I avoid it cause I still know ill come quick.

so there's becomes a big conflict.
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Re: Havn't done sex for a year & coming very too soon...

Postby BloomerDownUnder » Sun May 07, 2017 11:52 am

Have you tried Dapoxetine? Also known as Priligy. It delays ejaculation. Worked for me.
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