retarded ejaculation with impotence

i going to start this thread because i have both situational retarded ejaculation(can only orgasm when masturbating) and impotence. its very dicouraging because this morning i had a girl in my bed and had her pants off and she was ready and willing yet i wasnt hard. she even tried to stimulate it with her hand but i wasnt able to. I think the two problems are related. Usually it works better when im not trying to pleasure a girl but just laying back and focusing on my feelingsi think its a mental problem with impotence, because i have a small penis so very self conscious about it. like we said in the situational retarded ejaculation thread, RE can probably solved by abstinence. anyone else have both problems, or any questions? I guess my question is...what can be done about my impotence, im 21 and not exactly rich. i bought stamina RX from GNC, it helps occassionally but takes about two hours to kick in. i cant afford to go to a doctor, get a perscription and buy viagra........thanks

Yes. I have the same condition as you.

I don't have RE "per se" but more like the inability to climax with a partner combined with a lack of erection. I've always been an avid porn user and masturbated daily.

A couple years ago I visited a prostitute, but was unable to have sex with her, and she asked me: "Are you married?" I said "No" (I was 23). She said, "Ah, that explains it." I said "What do you mean?"

She answered "Well, all the guys who come here that are married, don't have any problems with sex. But all the single guys that come here---" and she showed a jacking-off gesture.

So masturbation plays a very big role in impeding normal intercourse, especially if the man is single for a long time. Take it from the prostitute!

As far as getting rid of this problem, you have to completely stop masturbating - and one week is NOT enough. It took me about 50 days of no masturbation to be able to have enjoyable intercourse. Even then, the success rate may not be 100% at first, just don't go back to porn, even if you fail -- keep trying, the success rate should improve, as you start to take "cues" from real women as opposed to porn.

Viagra will do the job providing you are sexually stimulated enough and your ED is not being caused by some form of sexual anxiety.

The basic premise of psychogenic Retarded Ejaculation is that in most cases the man is not aroused enough to have an orgasm even though in many cases he thinks he is. Something is holding him back and this something is in most cases anxiety, usually a type of low level anxiety that isn't enough to kill the erection, but enough to cause the man to not reach his orgasmic threshold. Now once the retarded ejaculator realizes he will not ejaculate this turns up the volume on the anxiety....enough to kill the erection. So the two things do go hand in hand. The point during sex where the man realizes something is wrong and he can't have an orgasm is different for every guy. Some can hold their erections and thrust away for up to an hour. But most realize alot sooner that there will be no payoff to intercourse or oral sex and loss of erection is the result.

If you suffer from frequent bouts of Situational RE and become anxious over whether or not you will cum even before you start, then Viagra can help you stay hard until you know for sure whether or not you will be able to have an orgasm with this particular partner or at at this particular time with a regular partner. It is also believed that Viagra can make the penis a bit more sensitive (due to increased blood flow to the sensory nerves) and this may help men who suffer from mild cases of retarded ejaculation.

more info here:
http://www.twu.ca/cpsy/Documents/Theses ... thesis.pdf

thanks for the good infos. i was able to have sex couple of weeks ago. and i did not masturbate for 18 days prior to. But still it didnt happen. So i guess in my case, I might have to give it a break for couple of months before trying sex. which would be the longest months of my life. haha.

PasserBy wrote:I don't have RE "per se" but more like the inability to climax with a partner combined with a lack of erection. I've always been an avid porn user and masturbated daily.

A couple years ago I visited a prostitute, but was unable to have sex with her, and she asked me: "Are you married?" I said "No" (I was 23). She said, "Ah, that explains it." I said "What do you mean?"

She answered "Well, all the guys who come here that are married, don't have any problems with sex. But all the single guys that come here---" and she showed a jacking-off gesture.

So masturbation plays a very big role in impeding normal intercourse, especially if the man is single for a long time. Take it from the prostitute!

As far as getting rid of this problem, you have to completely stop masturbating - and one week is NOT enough. It took me about 50 days of no masturbation to be able to have enjoyable intercourse. Even then, the success rate may not be 100% at first, just don't go back to porn, even if you fail -- keep trying, the success rate should improve, as you start to take "cues" from real women as opposed to porn.

Thanks for the help guys!!! Very reassuring that giving up masturbating will be worth it

Two things...

Passerby, you say you don't have RE... what would you say is the difference between what you had and RE? I know, I guess it doesn't matter but just wondered whether I have it or not.

Brandt, that document didn't work... can you check the link or maybe email it to us two? Thanks!

funnyguy wrote:i going to start this thread because i have both situational retarded ejaculation(can only orgasm when masturbating) and impotence. ...I think the two problems are related. Usually it works better when im not trying to pleasure a girl but just laying back and focusing on my feelingsi think its a mental problem with impotence, because i have a small penis so very self conscious about it.

I'm female and while I don't know your size, I want to tell you that a lot of guys have misconceptions about size and its importance. Little wonder with all of the nonsense you're being fed in advertisements and such. What you do is infinitely more important than how endowed you are. So work on being a skilled lover and know that your size is not going to define you sexually.

Also, there is NOTHING wrong with focusing on what feels good when it is your turn. You probably think that it is selfish but it really isn't. For one thing, she wants you to enjoy yourself. If you enjoy yourself, she feels good. So don't deny yourself that opportunity to make her happy by enjoying yourself.

For another, we're all responsible for our own orgasm. And that means that it is OK if you focus on your own feelings at that time. It is a requirement, really. This is one area where you're absolutely encouraged to be selfish. This selfishness rewards you both so in the end, it is for the greater good.