Our partner

Crying after masturbation

Sexual Dysfunctions message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Ada

Crying after masturbation

Postby Maryjanewatson » Thu Jun 13, 2013 3:17 am

I cry after I masturbate. And I'm not talking about when I am with another man intimately. I am talking about, when I am alone and I masturbate, after I reach the point of ultimate climax, I burst out into a sob. It never fails. This only happens when I do it by myself. There are many possiblilties to why this happening to me, but I would apprciate general advice first. If needed be, I will add in the details that are necessary for truly understanding me, Mary. The woman who sobs like a child after mastubation. I hate this feeling. Help me to understand the things I am to scared to ask a real doctor, and perhaps myself.
Maryjanewatson
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:35 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (1)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby loise » Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:08 am

I discover masturbation when i was about 17 years old and my boyfriend had just left me for my sister,
the pain was killing me and i did not find a way of moving out of that moment...i started moving and i had a climax and then i was able to cry. it was a soort of release system. Afterwards, masturbation became an habit, if i was frustrated, or hurt, or just tired...i would masturbate and then cry and then sleep. Why does this make you afraid? my psych told me that it made sense, because when we masturbate..something does the brain...i do not know what kind of what releases that allow us to relax an let go.... whatever it is, it has helped in difficult times.
i do no think this will happen if you are with somebody, whether conscious or not, maybe you are using masturbation to bring out something that is hurting inside you.
loise
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2012 8:28 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby HesDeltanCaptain » Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:02 pm

Do you feel sadness or regret, or is it just a flood of emotion that includes crying? If you're able to achieve orgasm at all, knowing you'll cry it sounds less like guilt and more like you're just a very expressive person. Nothing releases as much emotion as crying so maybe you just have extremely intense orgasms?

If it's guilt-based or sadness, you need to think about when you first began the crying following orgasm. Maybe you're subconsciously linking some memory with orgasms or orgasmic sex, a lost love, or some kind of negative association like a disapproving parent "catching" you. I'll assume you know there's nothing wrong with masturbation.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I pretended to be." - Me.
HesDeltanCaptain
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1221
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:19 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 5:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (10)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby Jim in Texas » Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:20 pm

I've masturbated about every day of my life since puberty and so far as releasing sexual tension
it's just as physically satisfying as actual sex but the deeper truth is it couldn't possibly be as
meaningful an act spiritually and emotionally as having sex with somebody you want to have
children with which the survival of the human race depends on. It's like picking up somebody
else's Oscar for them.
Jim in Texas
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 89
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:11 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby loise » Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:40 pm

[quote="HesDeltanCaptain"

If it's guilt-based or sadness, you need to think about when you first began the crying following orgasm. Maybe you're subconsciously linking some memory ... or some kind of negative association"

i am aware that an association between orgasm and a negative experience, can become a pretty bad habit...and brings somehow a shadow on intimacy......
i am aware of it, yet the habit is difficult to brake...
loise
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2012 8:28 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby niva » Sat Jun 29, 2013 3:50 am

short on words, but I often cry afterwards as well.
-Big N (usually grounded/OK/the host)
-little n (depressive child part; aka 'Jane')
-Aiden (obsessive/thinker part; no feelings)

Integrated:
-Sonja (preteen; happy/optimistic/good girl/social part)
-niva (teen; aggressive/frantic; lust/passion)
-ninchen (brave child; 9)
-Cedar (spiritual part)
niva
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 407
Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 10:15 pm
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby Maryjanewatson » Wed Jul 03, 2013 8:22 am

I cannot thank you all enough for your replies. This truly helps me. I am worried that you may be right when you say that guilt may be the reason.

Niva: I appreciate your comment. I don't know what it is about the fact that I'm not alone is so comforting. There's nothing comforting about feeling this way after masturbation. I would never want anyone else to feel like this.

Loise: I believe that this may be the case. It is the greatest fear of all actually. When you say shadow on intimacy, do you mean that it follows me? I don't really think of it as a habit. But perhaps it is. I don't mean to do it. It just comes over flowing; I can't seem to stop or help it. I'm quite certain know of the negative experience you were referring to.

Jim in Texas: Perhaps it is sexual tension. I can't say that I fully can understand where you're coming from, but my worry is that I don't feel the way you do. The way you describe sounds so natural, right, and normal.

HesDeltanCaptin: Yes I feel sadness. I feel overcome with regret and guilt. like a tsunami that overruns a small island I'm trapped, isolated and stripped.I think that perhaps it could be intense orgasm. But this wonderful, excellent, mountaintop experience everyone refers to when you're talking about an orgasm, it is just not what I feel. The orgasm I experience is heavy. But a reminder, this only happens when I am alone. Yes, I feel that masturbation is only natural. That's why it hurts so much to think something so normal and natural, isn't coming and turning out to be so normal and natural for me.
Maryjanewatson
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:35 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby loise » Fri Jul 05, 2013 9:45 pm

Maryjanewatson wrote:I cannot thank you all enough for your replies....
Loise: I believe that this may be the case. It is the greatest fear of all actually. When you say shadow on intimacy, do you mean that it follows me? I don't really think of it as a habit. But perhaps it is. I don't mean to do it. It just comes over flowing; I can't seem to stop or help it. I'm quite certain know of the negative experience you were referring to. orgasm. But this wonderful, excellent, mountaintop experience everyone refers to when you're talking about an orgasm, it is just not what I feel. The orgasm I experience is heavy. But a reminder, this only happens when I am alone. Yes, I feel that masturbation is only natural. That's why it hurts so much to think something so normal and natural, isn't coming and turning out to be so normal and natural for me.


....HI, i am happy that our responses help you in any way. when i speak about a shadow of intimacy, i do not speak about you, i speak about my own experience....i have as DC has said...masturbated and feeded a negative past experience..it became a habit...even though it helped me to bring my emotions out, it was also with this sadness behind the fact...the shadow of intimacy..comes later...because having sex with a partner...i would have that sadness, despite the pleasure...like the flavor of a lost battle before you begin....
i am old enough to say, that the flavor of sex and orgasm will change and be different with each partner.....what i am saying is that even though you experience this way an orgasm now, does not mean that it will always be so...we change also as people...and your experiences with other partners...will also change.....on the other way i think is very healthy that you question this at the beginning of the road....good luck!
loise
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2012 8:28 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby maryjones11 » Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:51 pm

Dear all,
I am joining this conversation rather late, but I felt compelled to when a quick search online about my own problem crying after masturbating offered me this forum as a means of exchange.
For the last year or so, I have been having a very difficult time achieving orgasm and will start crying as I near climax instead of coming. Masturbation and climax are intimately associated with my last "meaningful" sexual partner -- I was very much infatuated with him, but I soon realized that he did not have any feelings towards me. I was heart-broken and felt like a fool.
I've had a few sexual partners since him that have not rocked my world so I would be relatively indifferent, and none for the past year. Now, when I masturbate alone, I feel like it's a constant reminder of love and loss, and of how humiliated I felt after discovering that I had imagined he had feelings for me all along when in fact he didn't. The whole story left me feeling like he was "using me for sex," and like "that was all I was good for." Now, when I masturbate alone, I feel like I'm not even good for that since no one wants to have sex with me and that I am stuck all alone and can't even climax. These are a lot of negative emotions I'd like to get rid of in order to be able to move forward, but I feel like they are so deeply rooted and have so many ramifications that I'll never get over it.
I hope to restart the conversation of this thread and discuss this more with all of you so I can get help understanding how I feel.
Thank you in advance!
maryjones11
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:34 pm
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 5:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Crying after masturbation

Postby rainbowstar » Fri Jul 25, 2014 4:00 pm

Crying seems to be the off-switch for anger; orgasm breaks tension, so it's possibly something to do with ego collapse? Anger seems to be a ligand of fear. Do you experience a lot of irritability, annoyance and frustration in your day? Maybe repressed guilt as mentioned above?
User avatar
rainbowstar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 294
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:48 am
Local time: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:06 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Sexual Dysfunctions Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 40 guests

cron