hi maryjones11
i see it is quite common to associate sex, orgasm to the disappointment of a loved one...the problem is that we feed it and then add more things to it, like a growing (temporarily) low self-esteem...so he was a jerk...but that does not mean that you are any less now, than before you met him.
i realized that we give a moral an emotional weight to intimacy... and sometimes, at least when it regards to masturbation, it is better to isolate it.
for example masturbation is great against anxiety, it is also very good when you have a busy mind and can not stop it,...i am able to sleep.
do not worry too much, it is a temporary thing, unless you decide to use it as a channel to all the negative things that happen to you...but it does not need to happen like that.
have a couple of phrases to reinforce yourself positively!! have you seen "sunshine cleaning" when she is at the botton, she will say to herself...you are strong, you are great! etc.
we need to learn to do the same!!