Hi there people.
I'm a young man in his mid twenties and I feel quite confused in life.
You see, when I was young I began fantisizing about a lot of strange things : feminization, lesbian porn, submissive stuff, mind control. The thing is, I never fantasised about standard Male/Male or Male/Female stuff (and I tried both kinds of porn quite a few times). I'm also trying to watch less and less porn as all these strange things must not be good for me.
I met a girl recently and I reallised that when I was with her, carressing her, flirting with her, talking to her, I could get strong erections. I fell in love with this girl and feel a strong connection between us.
What confuses me is that while I can now get important erections thinking about her (and it's really new to me, it never happened before), about things we did or said, even thinking about making love to her (and I've never found vaginas sexually arousing, it seems to be more related to passion or something). While I can get important errections with these things, I still can't manage to ejaculate while thinking about this stuff. I get hard yes (and to the point of having pre-ejaculate liquid) but once I reach a point it only goes down.
I'm confused, am I gay? (I find penis sexually atractive but not men, I've never been able to masturbate thinking of men or gay sex)
Is there a way I can have sex with her and be happy in this relationship? I'm afraid I could ruin part of our lifes if I fail.
If someone has a personnal story or simply some insight that might help me please, go ahead. It makes me kind of confused and afraid.