Hi.I am a 19 year old boy and i have abstained from porn for a long time now..But i have a problem from the past.I discovered porn at about 12 years old and first time i masturbated to it I didn't like straight porn that much,though,because i would find the guy and his dick disgusting
)so i went to lesbian porn which really did it for me.I think it aroused me also because it was something "forbidden"..i am from a more conservative country.I started fapping like a crazy even 5-6 times a day to lesbian porn.i consumed it all black,latina,everything.Then i saw gay porn..It disgusted me,but i also felt exited at the same time..not by how they looked but by the act itself.I always liked girls,physically and emotionally.I also had a really low self-esteem in that period.I watched gay porn much less than other types(less than a year for sure probably a couple months) and i never imagined myself being there like with other types.,then i got back to lesbian porn,straight,till i discovered shemale porn.I also liked how they looked ,like women,but also because i found it again "forbidden".Then i realised how sick i have become and read online on ybop and everything i decided i need a change.I went back to lesbian porn and straight to get over the other types.then i cut this porn too.I am almost 2 years free of shemale porn and many months completely free of normal porn(i fapped then once to porn ,before that there was more time)i dont plan to watch again.i went even 3 months without fapping.in the last months i fapped few times a week or months,without being that desperate to photos of nice women or imagination .my life really changed in good.but i remembered this week that i watched gay porn and fapped 4-5 years ago and i feel really low and ashamed because i know i am straight,i love women(even if i am a virgin)i get crushes on them,i like how they look,i never was attracted in any way by a man.I thought if i could be gay,but i am sure i am not.I feel like porn "raped" me of my dignity..i hope it will be banned.I am also having suicidal toughts.Before i remember what happened back than,my life was drastically improving.I got where i never imagined,but the bad memories are holding me back.I wish i could just forget what happened...