I certainly won’t judge your sexual addiction. All of us cope with life as best as we can...and sometimes in an unhealthy way. I can only hope that you will find the strength and determination to get better.
But, I would like to ask you to please use condoms and to avoid visibly dangerous sexual scenarios/ encounters no matter how exciting they may appear. As I said, I am not judging you at all. I, too, in the past sometimes had unprotected sex and with guys I barely knew. But, I think you made a very good observation that you are trying to punish yourself by having random unprotected sex. Yes, there are many ways in which we can self harm. Please do not do that. You have mentioned the possibility of being violently raped or catching HIV. Although with new treatment HIV nowadays is much easier than it used to be a decade ago, it is still a serious disease. As a woman you are more vulnerable to get infected than if you were a male. Being HIV+ or raped on top of having mental health problems is very difficult and one needs a great deal of inner strenght to process all that. If and when it happens before a person can even think about it, than it was fate/destiny/meant to be..however you want to call it. In the end, maybe it always is, but if you are already very aware of the risks please use that knowledge to your advantage and do not punish yourself. You are a worthy person!
"For years, I'd preached the benefits of self-expression but my tonic since childhood had been isolation."