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I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

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I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby skiier88 » Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:51 am

Only serious replies please!!!!!!
I have trawled the internet and forums for quite a while trying to find decent, honest, transparent advice on this topic, with little luck so im hoping posting something might furnish some advice.
From a very young age I have been sexually attracted to mother, from the usual masturbating with her panties and bra's to watching her sunbathe from inside the house and masturbating. It was never an uncontrolable urge so I never gave it much thought or acted upon it. She had me when she was young, 18. I am now 37, she is 55.
Just so you have all the info, I am a reasonably good looking guy and have no problem with attracting woman or finding sexual partners, I have had many long term loving relationships. I have no anti social disorders or mental illness, i consider myself rather "normal". I do have a ridiculously high sex drive. I currently live abroad to my mother so I dont even see her that often but I still find myself on occasion thinking about her when I masturbate. Some forums say that after you masturbated the urge should be gone and you should be appaled by thought, this is not the case at all. I have thought and over analysed this for quite some time and have decided that when I go back home to visit my friends and family in a few months I am going to act upon this desire or make her aware of it.
Please I really do not want to hear people say how immoral or wrong it is, I understand all the social and psychology views on this subject and and really not interested in those views. I am wanting to hear if anyone has any advice on the best way to go about this, as in just come right out and tell her??? should i let her catch me masturbating?? should i leave my laptop open and on a search of "wanting to make love to my mother"?? should i get into bed with her naked and embrace her??? Im not asking people to condone this at all and I understand it could and most probably will go horribly wrong, but there is also a slight chance it wont. I just want views from people that might have thoughts of ways to approach this in as calm a way as possible.
I look forwrd to hearing your replies.....
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby janjones » Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:33 pm

OK, no judgment, but I don't think there is a way to tell your mom this with out freaking her out. You are right when you say it most probably will go horribly wrong. In any case, I believe the best way to approach any difficult topic is to be open, straight forward and honest. Only bring up the topic when you are feeling non-emotional and positive as I feel this will get emotionally messy and negative in short order. So, if you really must do this, “come right out and tell her” would get my vote.

I think the worst option is “get into bed with her naked and embrace her.” You shouldn’t be sliding naked into bed with any woman who is not expecting it. You’ll scare her to dead or cause her to have a panic attach! Seriously, don’t do that to anybody please! It’s definitely the wrong way to go.

I’m not judging this interest as right or wrong, but you may want to talk to a mental health professional about it before you act. You may not feel you need it but I don’t want you to damage or destroy your relationship with your mom. It's a very important relationship and it may be worth talking to a professional before you take action.
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby skiier88 » Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:41 pm

Thanks for your honesty and advice. Yes i agree the "climbing into her bed naked" idea is not a good one, one i doubt id do, I was just running through possible scenarios in my head.
As for speaking to a professional, I have contemplated and thought about it, a lot. But I KNOW myself and at the end of the day I am still going to make my mother aware of the desire, how ever which way. I have over analysed this from every angle for quite some time and need to do this. Just the slimmest chance of something coming from it is enough, and if I could somehow make her see how our bond would strengthen from it then maybe it would not end up messy and broken.
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby skiier88 » Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:10 am

I was really hoping for a lot more open minded opinion or advice.....
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby Cat5 » Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:51 pm

I think it might help, in terms of constructive feedback, if you elaborated a bit on why you want to do this. In other words, are you looking to evolve your relationship with your mother into a life-partner relationship, or is it more of a desire to increase intimacy with her, or is it mainly isolated to a physical, sexual desire?

Something to keep in mind also - should she be open to the idea of whatever you propose, she may later suffer very serious guilt or self-recrimination. You are not only risking your relationship with her for the rest of your lives (whether she is disgusted by what you tell her or whether she is open to the idea), but you are risking her long-term mental and emotional well-being.

I'm not saying this from a place of moral judgement, I'm just honestly asking what your thoughts are concerning her well-being; you've said you've been considering and analyzing these desires for a very long time - is she someone who is likely to psychologically feel the weight of society's taboo view of the potential situation (even if it's kept utterly private)?
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby TheYellowMonkey » Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:34 pm

Your issue doesn't relate to sexual addiction. You may have a better chance of getting a response in the Paraphilias forum (http://www.psychforums.com/paraphilias/).

Recovering sex and pornography addict
The magic of asking for help is not in the help, but in the asking.
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby skiier88 » Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:41 pm

Cat5 wrote: or is it more of a desire to increase intimacy with her, or is it mainly isolated to a physical, sexual desire?
is she someone who is likely to psychologically feel the weight of society's taboo view of the potential situation (even if it's kept utterly private)?


I think it is a need to increase an intimate bond with her through a physical and sexual desire.

With regards to her feeling the weight of societys taboo view on the subject, I think anyone, at some point, would feel a certain amount of guilt or even shame had they to go along with the idea. I guess it would be a case of, if by some small chance she agreed to it, to keep communication as open as possible and discuss it as much as possible, even encourage it to happen more often as to maybe feel more at ease with it. And from my part make her feel that it is more than a sexual/physical desire and more of an intimate bonding experience we would share with one another.

Obviously this is all hugely unknown territory and all speculation.
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby Dutchman2 » Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:11 am

I had this one too. My mother was a very nice looking woman. To make matters worse, once when we got drunk together, we ended up masturbating each other (not to orgasm, however.) Even though I was 16 at the time, I blame myself a little more than her for the incident. I always have been somewhat sexuallty aggressive. The roots of this were also probably her alcoholism all through my childhood. She loved to talk, and would reveal all kinds of things that were not ordinarily not discussed with teenage boys. My father before his death had been largely absent. So I was a pseudo-spouse in a way. My mom was my primary masturbation fantasy for a couple of years in my late teens and again, strangely enough, in my late 50s, after she died. She's been dead since 1984. I have a moderate sex/love addiction, which is only moderate because I have to make intellectual/emotional connection with a woman to be interested. This has helped end one marriage and put another at risk.

I suggest you don't follow through with this, but get therapy instead. It's possible to seduce family members-- even to have them temporarily like it. That's the side of family sexual abuse we don't usually talk about. But I think the consequences can be miserable.
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Fresh Approach

Postby tom79 » Sun Jul 21, 2013 3:58 am

Dutchman 2 is partially right. I am another mom lover. Grew up in her panty drawer through my teens then she died when I was 22. I am 34 now and only see women in their 50s/60s. I did share a motel room with my aunt when I was 28 and had many incestuous thoughts but I am grateful I never did anything mainly because of the embarrassment it would cause me with other family.

I think if your mother is single / alone then I would move right in with her somehow. HAve a midlife crisis and lean on her for support. Move back with her and become her new best friend in your older adulthood. Go to the movies, and drives, buy her restaurants and take her to the Symphony. At some point you can reasonably approach her for that next step as you are both single / alone and enjoying each other's company and you share that real love bond. This all my idea how it would work out.
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Re: I SERIOUSLY want to make love to my mother...

Postby Michelleinmichigan » Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:57 am

I think everybody gets out of the ordinary sexual thoughts at some point. The difference is, some stop themselves immediately, and others act on those images with masterbation. It is like rewarding a certain thought process repeatedly with dopamine. You are basically creating a fantasy, but to your subconscience memory it is real, and you are getting a chemical fix for those thoughts. If you do it repeatedly, you lose the distinction between reality and fantasy. It is like hypnotizing yourself.

Then problem is that your mother likely doesn't haven't those fantasies and can distinguish maternal love and sex. It is very unlikely that she has the same impulses you do. She may be very disturbed by your advances, and that is not something that you can take back. Best case scenario for you, if she went along with It, I guarantee the aftermath will not be good. She will feel bad. Women can't compartmentalize things the way men do. She may have serious emotional issues either way. Women also need to talk about things. How would you feel if any of this was repeated? It really isn't a good scenario no matter how you look at it.

It really isn't a good idea to act on sexual impulses without judgement. That includes masterbation because that can easily progress. I don't say that out of judgement, it is fact. People get themselves into a lot of trouble because of that. The same applies to what you think, fantasize about, read, and watch. The mind is a powerfull thing, and you have to be VERY careful how you program it.
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