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I want to stop masturbating but I can't

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I want to stop masturbating but I can't

Postby cantstopmyslef » Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:29 am

At 10 or 11 years old When I first learnt I could masturbate, I liked the sensation, and have kept at it my entire life.

In my teens , regardless of whether I had girls friends or not, when I was alone at night I would always masturbate.

Every morning I would take a shower I would masturbate. If I had some porn I would masturbate to that. other times I would make up sexual scenarios in my mind, and masturbate to those. I would think or bi sexuality, incest between sons and mothers or sisters, not my own of course becasue that wouldn't be fantasy, even beastiality and pedophilia.

I would frequent public tiolets and watch gays having sex. And then I let them give me blow jobs and hand jobs. I didn't like them kissing me so I suppose I'm not gay. I just liked the illicit part of the sexual contact.

I became a peeping tom, it was exciting, but got caught.

My girlfriend at the time forgave and supported me, why I don't know, and I eventually I married her.

Even being married didn't stop my masturbation, and I continued it in the mroning shower. After being married for a few years I started to visit hookers, and video parlours.

I would bring home sex toys for my wife. She would use them, but I don't know whether she did it for me , or becasue she liked them. She would never talk about it.

She would never talk about what she liked and what she didn't llike . It was always a guessing game, and I became afraid to try new things because I thought she may wonder where I learn't that , and she may discover my other activities.

My wife goes to bed. After I give her a while to fall asleep, I head for the computer / internet and find anything I can masturbate to. Always 2 or 3 hours at night. When she goes to work in the morning, I repeat the activuty.

Its not that I prefer the masturbation. If I had lots of money I would probably be out looking for hookers as well.

I started my own business and one of the first pieces of equipment I got was a tele video, so I could stay at work late and watch video s and masturbate some more.

If I went away on business I would spend more time on planning sexual adventures and or arranging adult videos than I would on business.

In the end my business suffered and closed because I just could not stop spending the day thinking and planning on how I would spend the evening either with a hooker or alone in the office masturbating with adult videos.

Now I'm out of busness, my relationship with my wife is strained.

She's not interested in having sex with me. When we do have sex she lies on her side looking away from me. I know she has an orgasm but I also know its not me she's having the orgasm with. At least whe doesn't fake orgasms. But its just as hurtful knowing its not me she having sex with.

For along time nows she questions me in the morning about what I'm doing on the computer. She doesn't push the issue, but I think as with most women she's intuitive enough to know what I'm doing.

The masturbation, and visits with hookers, is always good while its happening , but always leaves me feeling guilty, empty, depressed, even self loathing, after the event.

I know its wrong. I know the effect it has on my ability to manage my life, and my relationships.

This morning I masturbated for 2 hours. Sometimes I don't care that I'll be late for my IT course. I just keep looking for new material to masturbate over, material that will kindle the sexual feeling i'm alwasy looking for.

Even if I have to be somewhere important, I'll postpone it in favour on continuing a session of masturbation. then when its over, I feel guilty, empty and deporessed again, and loose motivation to do the things I'm supposed to do.

I'm now 52 years old. I want to stop this destructive behavior. Only trouble is I like it while I am doing it, and the urge to do it is stronger than the urge to do something else.

How can I stop.









I
cantstopmyslef
 


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Postby run_42k » Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:56 pm

Dude, I am so happy to NOT be in your situation. I can't imagine myself masturbating to the point of it effecting my work. I have on occassion masturbated in a bathroom stall at work, as well as several times a day, but not to the point that I need "new material". I was able to keep myself under control by stopping cold turkey. It didn't last forever, maybe a month, but then I slowly added mastubation back into my daily routine and limited it to once a day. Now, I only masturbate on days that I don't have sex thus limiting ejaculation to once a day. After my wife learned of my habit she became supportive for me. You need to make sure that your wife is present when you masturbate so that you can ensure that you have complete control of your addiction.

I know this next piece of advice is rather cliche, but it also worked for me. You need to pick up a new hobby... I chose a very time consuming hobby which is building radio control airplanes. I was able to redirect my sexual energy into forming sleek shapes and contours of aircraft which has helped quench my thirst to keep busy.

I wish I had advice on how to cut back on hookers, but I respect the fact that men need a little variety from time to time and this is probably the most convenient way to get a woman that you otherwise would not have any other chance to have... just be sure to wear a condom so you don't give your wife any diseases, that would be the most unforgiveable action on your part!

Best wishes and good luck in taking control of your habit...
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Postby Wow » Sun Jan 01, 2006 12:51 am

Sounds just like me... Except i'm only 16. I masturbate 4-5 times everyday, I've never had sex yet, but i look foward to it everyday. Hearing your story, it only makes me fear what i'll become..
Wow
 

Postby JennyJ » Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:34 pm

I don't think the problem is masturbation as such. It's the fact your feel the need to masturbate all the time. This is called an Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. Some people with this disorder eat all the time, or get addicted to drugs or can't stop washing their hands.

Got to the doctor and get a prescription for an SSRI antidepressant like PAXIL. With a few weeks you will lose your compulsion to masturbate so much.
JennyJ
 

Postby JennyJ » Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:36 pm

JennyJ
 

Postby SOOT » Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:42 pm

SOOT
 

Postby Guest » Sun Feb 26, 2006 4:54 am

Also, it sounds like you'd benefit from Sex and Love Addicst Anonymous. Masturbation Addiction is quite common, but people have found freedom from it.
Guest
 

Postby Guest » Sun Feb 26, 2006 4:56 am

Anonymous wrote:Also, it sounds like you'd benefit from Sex and Love Addicst Anonymous. Masturbation Addiction is quite common, but people have found freedom from it.


Sorry, I forgot to paste link: http://www.slaafws.org/

There is a lot of information on that site, including meeting lists.
Guest
 

Postby nbafan07 » Tue May 22, 2007 5:40 am

I have a masturbation addiction too. I've had it for a few years, and I am ashamed of it because I have let it get out of control. It was just a case of liking the feeling and not being able to get enough of it. It has reached the point where I think about masturbating and then after I do it, I get mad at myself for doing it.
I want to stop, and have wanted to for a while. I have masturbated to girls I didn't like, finding any excuse to get off. I hate myself for doing that. But now I feel better for admitting it. I have kept it a secret for a long time. I really feel like I have had a weight lifted off my shoulders.
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What I have found for myself

Postby reddevil » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:43 pm

Quick story 13 or 14 I started to masturbate and I was addicted to. Now I am 29. At the age of 28 I went to try to see what to do to stop this behavior.

I even thought about chemical castration! Turns out that I have an anxiety issue. I started taking klonopin(because it lasts for 6 to 8 hours) for my anxiety and my life as completely changed. When on the meds I feel like I don't have to. I can honestly say I have been sober for almost 7 months. No porn what so ever! I used to have covenant eyes to help but didn't do much.

I am also learning relaxing techniques so I don't have to depend on the meds so much.

May not work for you but I have to let this out because I know what it is to be addicted! It's f*cking torture!
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