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Addicted to getting high and masturbating

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Addicted to getting high and masturbating

Postby sexanon » Wed May 16, 2012 1:10 pm

I'm female and identify as being a lesbian ... for the most part. I think I may have an addiction to masturbation also to high masturbation and maybe to the idea of having anonymous sex with men to the point I've considered going to local dogging spots just to see what would happen.

I absolutely love the feeling of getting high and masturbating. I love watching porn mostly of guys playing with themselves and am always trying to work out when I'm going to be alone in order to spend my entire time high as a kite playing with myself.

Things appear to be progressing to what could be more dangerous. I have a partner who I love more than anything in the world but I still can't shake this craving. I think and write about the things I would love to do with people I don't know and think it's only a matter of time before I actually try to do them. These cravings drive me insane. Always buzzing through my head. I look at nearly every guys crotch in public without even meaning too. I keep looking up local areas for where I may find people looking for sex and just about manage not to bring myself to go looking for it.

I'm not sure what to do. I feel like a totally different person when this insatiable need rears it head like it's not even connected to the part of me that is totally in love and satisfied by my gf.
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Re: Addicted to getting high and masturbating

Postby aussie_surfer » Wed May 16, 2012 3:28 pm

I understand exactly what you mean about feeling like you are a different person having these thoughts. In my case, I am learning that it is connected to sexual abuse I went through as a boy.

I have thoughts and arousal about things I would never do in real life, and some that I would, and have.

It's crazy sometimes, like two different personalities. I'm not sure this will help, but you're not alone.
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Re: Addicted to getting high and masturbating

Postby sexanon » Wed May 16, 2012 8:58 pm

That's exactly right. I think mine may be connected also. How can I make it stop? It could ruin so much for me but when I'm in that state of mind I don't care. I'm only thinking about one thing. how good it feels between my legs ...
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Re: Addicted to getting high and masturbating

Postby sexanon » Thu May 17, 2012 9:05 am

Well I thought I'd get a little more advice than this =(
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Re: Addicted to getting high and masturbating

Postby TheYellowMonkey » Thu May 17, 2012 2:31 pm

When you write "it could ruin so much for me", that indicates you recognize an unacceptable level of risk associated with your sexual behavior. It sounds like you may have a drug dependency problem as well, but that's a separate issue.

The fact that you haven't been able to stop it on your own indicates some compulsivity. My advice for addressing compulsive sexual behavior is pretty standard, although it will be disappointing if you happen to be one of the many people seeking a quick and easy fix.

1. Soul-searching and willpower. Many people will be able to stop their unwanted behaviors with a big dose of honest self-examination and sincere effort. But others can't.

2. If that doesn't work, learn more about sexual addiction. A good book to start with is "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes. But there are others too. See if significant things in the book(s) apply to you.

3. Get outside help. Make an appointment with a therapist who's competent in sexual addiction. Join a 12-Step group. Do whatever it takes to get yourself healthy. There's no shame in asking for help; many people have done it before you and will be glad to assist you.

Recovering sex and pornography addict
The magic of asking for help is not in the help, but in the asking.
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