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I'm a sex addict and i need help

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I'm a sex addict and i need help

Postby screwed » Sun Jul 10, 2005 5:18 pm

Hi. I'm a sex addict, because since my youth i have been masturbating constantly everday. I cannot live without the pleasure or high derived from it. I do not feel the same high in real sex, and i watch too much porn. I don't want to lose my wife, and i can't tell her this. I don't know what to do, and i can't control my urges.
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Postby Guest » Thu Jul 21, 2005 9:23 pm

I two masturbate a shocking amount, but what bothers me is that is wastes to much time, somtimes i wonder if the docter may give me somthing to calm me down.
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Re: I'm a sex addict and i need help

Postby TitanicallyMisted » Sun Jul 31, 2005 3:56 pm

screwed wrote:Hi. I'm a sex addict, because since my youth i have been masturbating constantly everday. I cannot live without the pleasure or high derived from it. I do not feel the same high in real sex, and i watch too much porn. I don't want to lose my wife, and i can't tell her this. I don't know what to do, and i can't control my urges.


Hi screwed,

I understand the pain and difficulty that you feel in this situation.
It's up to you to decided if you want to tell your wife or not, but one thing you may want to think about is how will she feel if she finds out about this another way?
I would strongly urge you to consider therapy or attend some groups on the subject.
Sex addiction is something that people are starting to become more aware off, which is good because it means that there is more help becoming available.
TitanicallyMisted
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I'm a sex addict and i need help

Postby Finding Victory » Sat Aug 13, 2005 8:24 am

About 25 days ago I came to this forum and read your cry for help. Oh how I wish I could have provided you with some words of wisdom but I too had problems with masturbation and pornography - 30 years of captivity. But now, by God's grace, I am living in victory from both. My marriage has been restored and my faith renewed. If you're serious about wanting help, and are ready to get honest with yourself and God about your addiction, I recommend the following web-site - settingcaptivesfree.com - It has been used to make a difference in my life and countless others. I'm still in process but I know I'm free! Check it out - what do you have to loose? settingcaptivesfree.com
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Postby Guest » Fri Aug 26, 2005 12:34 am

I am pretty sure a lot of people have this "problem". The question is where masturbation and porn watching becomes addiction.
I don't think there is anything wrong with masturbation and porn even everyday as long as acting on fantasies doesn't hurt anyone physcically and mentally.
But I have to admit that fantasies can become dangerous and disgusting to either a point at which it gets criminal or separated from so called "normal" life. This is a very obscured and uncharted territory so maybe as a remedy it's better to belive that it's immoral and wrong to do it.
Any definitions or opinions?

madri
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Postby TitanicallyMisted » Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:49 pm

Anonymous wrote:I am pretty sure a lot of people have this "problem". The question is where masturbation and porn watching becomes addiction.
I don't think there is anything wrong with masturbation and porn even everyday as long as acting on fantasies doesn't hurt anyone physcically and mentally.
But I have to admit that fantasies can become dangerous and disgusting to either a point at which it gets criminal or separated from so called "normal" life. This is a very obscured and uncharted territory so maybe as a remedy it's better to belive that it's immoral and wrong to do it.
Any definitions or opinions?

madri


Agreed.
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Postby hyperclass » Fri Sep 09, 2005 7:44 am

I been at it steady since I was about 9. I've gotten so good the porn isn't even required. I also can't get enough of the real thing any way possible so I consider the self help version a way of release so I can focus more clearly when I'm faced with the real thing. I'm married and don't need to be weak when I get around other women. A couple times a day helps me stay focused on life. It may not be considered correct, but it's like a reset button for my brain.
hyperclass
 

Postby Been There 999 » Thu Sep 15, 2005 2:12 am

Porn and masturbation are always much more sexually intense that sexual relatons with another person, especially if you are in a long term relationship like marriage. Thousands, if not millions of married men are in exacltly the same situation as you. Man suffer from the inability to maintain erections or to ejaculate during partner sex because it is so different from the porn and masturbation experience.

Any therapist you go to will tell you that the first thing you must do is stop masturbating. If you cannot do it on your own he may prescribe an SSRI antidepressent such as Paxil which will do two things- 1) dull down your feeling of compulsion to masturbate and 2)reduce your sex drive to help with that compulsion. This together with talk therapy is usually very successful.

Your body and mind has been trained over the years to only respond to hard core visual stimulation and the firm grip of your own hand. Anything else just doesn't cut it and you don't get aroused enough when you are with another person.

You have other options besides therapy and drugs. If your relationship means a lot to you and you want to stay with your wife then you must try to please her sexually and forget about your own pleasure. You can always masturbate later. IF you cut her off completely there is a danger she will leave you.
Been There 999
 

Postby Man of constant sorrow » Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:12 pm

join the club, I'm only 23 and I have this problem. I'm really sick and tired of it, and the way it makes me view women. I don;t want it anymore-all that filth, all that raw, dirty, harsh, immoral, mean garbage- it really is evil, it really is destructive, and I'm fed up w/ it, and I'm not preaching this, I just know its the truth. You know, I never used to find masochism arousing, but after watching that BS like on meanbitches.com or venus-girls.com, the thought of things I found strange and repulsive before eg. like facesitting, or humiliating ie. like being called slave etc. I now find arousing to imagine. I have now become desensitized to these things and it makes me feel like I've fallen from the guy I used to be. I don't want to be dragged down further into this meaningless, empty darkness, even though the testosterone is making it a little tough. I don't want to be another casualty, just another figure# for the # of victims of the porn industry. I don;t believe in the mainstream 'skankification' of women, even though society and the media promotes this for both men and women. Through the loopholes of 'sexual liberation', whatever that means, the porn industry has been able to evade punishment for their crimes, and continue exploiting innocent human beings, and this is very sad and unfortunate...
Man of constant sorrow
 

Postby Man of constant sorrow » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:33 am

Hey, on a good note I've been porn-free now for more than a week. Instead, any free time I had apart from studying I spent playing basketball and watching hockey. I try to feed off of the victories, adrenaline and battling I see in the hockey games and try to convert it to my fight against porn addiction, and it seems to work-you visualize the opposing team as your addiction, your mind, body and willpower as your team, and try to win the game, and every small battle you win you imagine as scoring a goal and hearing the loud horns and sirens ringing- really, it helps. Somehow you've got to couple your effort against porn with a real, vivid battle or game-type situation. ... maybe I'll be able to keep this up, I'm gonna try anyway...
Man of constant sorrow
 

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