Oh, I am not making excuses for him, his criminal behavior weighs greatly on me. I told him he could go to jail for what he had done and his quick response was "Then send me to jail if it'll make you feel better." Feel better? I just wanted him to get help! He kept trying to tell me that "porn" is normal which I agreed, I told him CHILD porn is not and is not acceptable. He didn't see viewing it as "criminal" even when I tried explaining that he is contributing to the horrible industry and giving it a reason to exist!!! He apparently told the person who did the hook up that he was "into young girls" which led to the horrible outcome. Of course I thought I was what he was into...it hurts so much to think of him thinking sexually of girls younger than our daughter!!! I am 40, 5'4", 110 lbs and our daughter and I are mistaken for sisters all the time so I KNOW it's nothing to do with me. It's part of the addiction or illness if you will. There was years (maybe 7 years back) when we went 6 or 7 weeks at a time without sex, with no explanation, no excuses, nothing but for me to wonder what was going on. It wasn't until a year ago when we got internet hook up that I was able to determine what the problem was. He insists he NEVER had a problem with masturbation with the porn, although I suspect that's why we hardly had sex for all that time. He was better with sex after I said something numerous times and knew it was a problem for me. When all this hit the fan he wouldn't acknowledge he had a problem, he said since I had a problem with it that therefore it was his problem. He finally admitted it was a problem but still insists he can beat this on his own. I think he doesn't want to have to tell someone about his "problem", that talking about it means he certainly has issues that need working on. I do love him and don't want to give up on our relationship when it's something that he can overcome. I can't force him though and I think he would rather lose me than have to talk to someone...it's so frustrating for me when help is readily available.