Do I have a masturbation addiction?

So, this is my first time posting on such a forum. Stupidly enough, after watching a full season of the VH1 reality series "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" I began questioning the healthiness of my own sexual behavior. After researching on the internet, however, I found that my case is slightly different from a typical sex addict's, and therefore I am having difficulty categorizing my behavior as normal or unhealthy; maybe some of you can help me.
I am a 21-year-old female virgin. I am only a virgin because I have never found anyone that I would be willing to lose my virginity to...even when I'm hooking up with people, I often lose interest after I feel that I have "conquered" them. If, however, they choose to act stand-offishly towards me, I find myself more drawn to them. On the other hand, if they show me the slightest indication that they might be interested in pursuing anything more than a "friends with benefits" scenario, I get very turned off. I masturbate daily, usually, and up to five times a day. I began masturbating when I was 11 or 12 years old. To accompany my masturbation, I utilize porn, erotic literature, and have recently taken a liking to exposing myself on sex chat rooms. This is probably a consequence of a recent hook-up buddy I have demanding pictures and videos of me undressing. Although I am uncomfortable with showing him too much, I enjoy anonymously (I cover my face) showing myself to others. Furthermore, I have found that after I hook up with someone, I have a hard time achieving orgasm at their hands and instead will proceed to masturbate alone after he has left.
Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Well, I think you answered your own question. When chasing the intensity or orgasms or the strict adherence to a sexual choreography such as yours, inhibits your chance of developing good, nurturing, caring relationships, then I do think there is a problem.
The good news, imho, is that you are aware that - however gratifying the sex and the release is - you see how ultimately empty it is. There is something missing in your repertoire - and you sense and feel it, don't you?

There is probably something going on in your past - like most SA's -that drove you find comfort in the early MBing, and you continue to run to the comfort of that to feel raw emotion and a sense of control.

Listen, I am not here to judge you....but if what you were doing worked for you, you wouldn't be so bothered by your behavior. If you were doing all of this within the confines of a healthy, mature relationship, we wouldn't be having this conversation. So, what to do, what to do.....

Imho, you should go see a competent, same-sex therapist to formulate a plan of action to limit that behavior until you find and heal that core pain/hurt/fear that keeps you running to that comfort behavior.

There are also recovery programs, much like AA, that many women go to to get support and accountability. If you are tired enough of this behavior and it is not working for you, perhaps you should check one or two out.

If you are a person of faith, lean on that and talk to your priest, pastor, shaman or whatever.

You deserve to be truly happy and have peace in your life....and your sexual life.

You deserve to be truly happy and at peace.

diamondsxarexforever wrote:I am a 21-year-old female virgin. I have a hard time achieving orgasm at their hands and instead will proceed to masturbate alone after he has left.
Your thoughts would be appreciated.

seems odd that a virgin would have enough experience to now if they would achieve a orgasm or not.

The is nothing wrong with masturbation in my eyes, and many people today are getting naked on cam. What you have to be careful about, is who you are showing many guys will take it as a sign you want them and you might get in a situation that could have bad results.

My guess is when the right guy comes along you will be fine.

diamondsxarexforever wrote:So, this is my first time posting on such a forum. Stupidly enough, after watching a full season of the VH1 reality series "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" I began questioning the healthiness of my own sexual behavior. After researching on the internet, however, I found that my case is slightly different from a typical sex addict's, and therefore I am having difficulty categorizing my behavior as normal or unhealthy; maybe some of you can help me.
I am a 21-year-old female virgin. I am only a virgin because I have never found anyone that I would be willing to lose my virginity to...even when I'm hooking up with people, I often lose interest after I feel that I have "conquered" them. If, however, they choose to act stand-offishly towards me, I find myself more drawn to them. On the other hand, if they show me the slightest indication that they might be interested in pursuing anything more than a "friends with benefits" scenario, I get very turned off. I masturbate daily, usually, and up to five times a day. I began masturbating when I was 11 or 12 years old. To accompany my masturbation, I utilize porn, erotic literature, and have recently taken a liking to exposing myself on sex chat rooms. This is probably a consequence of a recent hook-up buddy I have demanding pictures and videos of me undressing. Although I am uncomfortable with showing him too much, I enjoy anonymously (I cover my face) showing myself to others. Furthermore, I have found that after I hook up with someone, I have a hard time achieving orgasm at their hands and instead will proceed to masturbate alone after he has left.
Your thoughts would be appreciated.

The following link will help you evaluate whether or not you're addicted to masturbation

http://addictioncontrol.blogspot.com/20 ... ction.html

Thank you all so much, your replies have truly been helpful. The quiz helped me identify some other behavior that further affirms my fears -- ex. I often masturbate to relieve boredom, or just because I feel like I "need" to. I have also masturbated in public places before, knowing that it was a bit strange, but finding thrill out of that fact. Although I had never considered any of this unhealthy behavior (and maybe I'm still just being a hypochondriac) I plan on seeking self-help methods to curb my addiction. I guess I had never considered it a problem because, unlike most sex addicts, I never underwent any type of traumatic or triggering experience. An early fascination with erotica is the only explanation I have to offer. Further, unlike what I've heard about most addicts, masturbation has never blatantly interfered with my life -- I still lead a normal life otherwise and have had no masturbation-related problems achieving my goals. I realized after some thought though that I have, actually, lost sleep over masturbation; even when I have been very tired, I feel the need to masturbate before bed sometimes. I'm sorry for anyone that's reading this and has now realized I'm just ranting, but I think a forum provides a healthy and helpful means to relieve some of the thoughts that have just been stirring in my own mind. I am too embarrassed to discuss this problem with even the closest of my friends, and appreciate the insights of people who may understand from where I'm coming.

Only you can decide how much is too much, for me I had a high sex drive which lead to my addiction. Masturbation was a way of controlling it as I stopped sleeping around. If you feel though it is controlling to much of your life then it is a problem for you. Keeping busy with other stuff can help, like yourself I would get worked up about something then turn to masturbation to distract me from it when in reality I should have done something else to distract myself.
Anyway good luck in finding a good balance