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Getting worse with no end in sight

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Getting worse with no end in sight

Postby SomeFreak » Thu Nov 27, 2008 7:10 am

So I've been not necessarily getting worse yet not really getting better at my porn addiction. I'm at this point where I'm masturbating to porn twice a day then going without for about a day or two. Its ridiculous, and the urges are truly overpowering.

It constantly clouds my thoughts, flashes of the porn run through my head, which makes me feel awkward in social situations. Like a cute girl talking to me trying to flirt or attempting to hang out or get my number. I never realized I had a pornographic addiction until a few months ago, but today I'm seeing how much it has ruined and impacted my life. And I've traced this addiction to my very EARLY teens, around 12 years old, that makes almost a 10 year addiction. I never realized the damage I was doing to myself....

Every sexual relationship I've had with a woman has been ruined because of the desensitization of pornography. I don't think anyone in the community could ever understand how this has come to have an impact on my life. I'm only 22 years old, and I don't want seek professional help for this addiction although I don't know if I can beat this on my own. I feel ruined, I feel hopeless, i feel so anxious and depressed because of this burden. this is honestly the HARDEST thing I've ever gone through in my life so far. Sometimes I ponder drug or alcohol addiction because I could at least come out to my family about it, and they would respect it as serious addiction or condition. But how can I come out as a porn addict? To my parents? To my grandparents? I'd be disowned, I'd be a complete and utter ingrate, they couldn't comprehend what I'm going through......I just don't know that to do anymore. I'm considering professional help. I seriously think its the only way I can go.....I've tried so hard on my own....
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Postby jasmin » Thu Nov 27, 2008 3:52 pm

Hey, SomeFreak! It's not fair that your family wouldn't try to understand if you told them about this. You have to try seeing a professional, but it has to be someone who wants to help. Where will you look for one?
Your life isn't over. You can still beat this addiction and have a good relationship with a woman.
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Re: Getting worse with no end in sight

Postby BobDoba777 » Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:13 am

SomeFreak wrote: I feel ruined, I feel hopeless, i feel so anxious and depressed because of this burden. this is honestly the HARDEST thing I've ever gone through in my life so far. Sometimes I ponder drug or alcohol addiction because I could at least come out to my family about it, and they would respect it as serious addiction or condition. But how can I come out as a porn addict? To my parents? To my grandparents? I'd be disowned, I'd be a complete and utter ingrate, they couldn't comprehend what I'm going through......I just don't know that to do anymore. I'm considering professional help. I seriously think its the only way I can go.....I've tried so hard on my own....



Hey there Some-

I complety feel you man! It's a real tough thing to have to deal with, and I myself consider it my biggest burden as well.

I don't know the solution yet. I hear that professional help can real be of benefit, also going to a community like SAA or SLAA that can support you in your quest to be sober. Also, this gives you a chance to realize you are not alone and to have a support network.
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