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Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

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Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

Postby A guest » Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:03 pm

I am in recovery for sex addiction. One thing I have never told anyone because I find it very embarassing and shameful is that I crave giving oral sex on guys, especially if I don't know them.

I haven't done this for quite a while and the desire has lessened as a result of working on addiction recovery, but I still have to constantly turn over this desire.

I can't help but think maybe I was molested or something as a child. I know my brother was, and apparently I was there when it happened, but I don't remember it. I first remember having this compulsion when I was around 9, when I actually performed oral on my dad while he was sleeping. Something drove me to do this, and I ran to my room terrified and ashamed. I also performed oral at the request of a peer when I was around 10 (no orgasm in either case).

Does anyone else have this problem, or any feedback? I hate being like this, feeling like a have a perverted characteristic.
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Postby Firnlothwen » Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:08 pm

perverted is when you would do this against other people's will.

can you explain the feeling you get from satisfying some one orally? what drives you to wanna do this?
i mean, i don't mind doing it with my fiance, and i had a time i didn't mind sleeping with every one that looked okay, but i know why i did it. and i'm wondering if you know why you feel this strong about oral sex with strangers.
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Postby Guest » Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:24 pm

Firnlothwen wrote:perverted is when you would do this against other people's will.

can you explain the feeling you get from satisfying some one orally? what drives you to wanna do this?
i mean, i don't mind doing it with my fiance, and i had a time i didn't mind sleeping with every one that looked okay, but i know why i did it. and i'm wondering if you know why you feel this strong about oral sex with strangers.


Thanks.

Well, I usually only have this craving to do it when I am extremely anxious about something. The idea of doing it with a stranger (which is almost always better than the act of doing it) gives me a rush. I think I feel some validation for being good at it, and I prefer if the guy is verbal and/or aggressive.
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Re: Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

Postby NEPhilly » Wed Mar 06, 2013 9:03 pm

I read your post and I have the SAME kind of compulsion to perform oral sex on men I don't know. My compulsion started when I was in my 20's, and I believe I understand why. I watched a lot of porn in xxx adult bookstores, and was constantly seeing closeups of girls performing oral sex on guys. The guys in this porn usually treated the girls roughly, using bad language, ordering them to do things, humiliating them, until the guys would cum in the girl's mouths or on their faces or bodies.

At first I identified with the guys when I watched these films, not because I was anything like them, but only because I was straight and it excited me to watch them get oral. But eventually, I started to identify with the girls and imagine myself in the female's place, instead of in the male's.

I also once heard a friend's girlfriend say that when she performed oral on a guy, she felt that SHE was in the position of power, not him. She said that she had his manhood between her teeth and while she would never hurt a guy, knowing she could made her feel power. Also, she said that she felt power knowing that performing oral on a guy and making him orgasm was giving him the greatest pleasure he could have.

So I know that my compulsion to perform oral on guys that I don't know, hearing them verbally humiliate me and order me what to do, having orgasms in my mouth and on my face and body, all comes from watching porn. That's why they need to be strangers too, because the guys in porn are strangers, and when the porn is over, I can go back to my real life. The first time I gave oral to a guy was in an adult bookstore booth, and I did it to satisfy my curiosity of what it would be like. But then I was hooked and kept doing it.

And I also agree that the thoughts of doing it, the anticipation before I do it and the fantasizing after I do it, are much better than the actual act. But I also experience huge amounts of shame at what I've done and that I've enjoyed any part of it.

It sounds like my compulsion is very similar to yours.
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Re: Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

Postby pistils » Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:20 am

Guest-

I strongly believe that sexual abuse when you are very young can have profound effects on a person's life. If you were so young you don't recall it, it surprises me that it would have reflected itself in an oral fixation, but hey, there's a lot I don't know. But to be doing it on your dad at nine certainly indicates some sort of unusual situation in your life. I had seen a few penises by that age, and as I recall was both fascinated and repulsed by them, but I'm sure I would never have thought of doing that to my father, so I think there was something unusual in your personal history to trigger that.
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Re: Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

Postby phxbot » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:39 pm

Substitute the word oral with anal and that describes me perfectly. Started off watching women receive anal and now I receive anal from anonymous men in gay bathhouses. Best when he talks dirty to me or pulls my hair or locks his hands around as if bondage. The more humiliating the better. Even do it with door open so that a crowd can watch. Major addiction on my part. Don't know where to start
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Re: Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

Postby MartinEE0214 » Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:29 am

Hey, not sure if any of the previous posters might still be following this, but I'll add my 2 cents. My fixation on oral sex probably started when I was young. When I was approximately eight my stepbrother, two years older, invited me to do it on him. Having never heard of it he explained it and I decided I didn't want to, and it never happened. Later, I had a friend in junior-high that would come over and spend the night. I never felt anything toward him but once he pranked me by sticking his finger through his zipper and waving it around my face. After that, I would fantasize about it, but it never happened. I never remember being abused by my father, but do remember quite vividly when I started feeling uncomfortable sharing the bed with him. It may have happened and I have blocked it out. He did end up molesting my step-sister, so it's certainly possible.

I wish I could give you a silver bullet solution, but I don't know of any. Perhaps a dildo or something would be more healthy than hooking up with random strangers. I think I wanted to post since my situation is similar and I think may have been caused by influences early in life. I don't consider myself perverted and all this pre-dates any exposure I would have had to pornography, so I don't feel apt to blame that.
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