Possible Sexual Abuse?

Lately I have had this feeling that I may have been sexually abused when I was younger. In the past few weeks I have been having vague memories of incidents that happened when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I have memories of my older brother (6 years older than me) doing inappropriate things with me. I remember being in a room alone with him and him being naked in front of me. I also remember being in our swimming pool and him asking me to get naked for him. I don't have any memories of him actually touching me, me touching him, and him forcing me to do anything. I was young at the time, and didn't think what we were doing was wrong.

I remember having these same memories a few years back, but they only come around every couple years. This time I have more of a clear memory, and they have been happening more often. I am unsure if these memories are real, or if I am for some reason "making them up" in my head.

I have also been thinking about my childhood. I have realized that I do not remember most of my childhood. I do remember knowing about sex at an early age. I also remember masturbating at an early age, and being very aware that I knew it a sexual thing. As my brother and I grew up we didn't talk as much, and always fought. I don't know if this was just a sibling thing, or possibly because what could have happened.

I was hoping that someone on here would be able to give me some insight or advice on the situation I am in. Part of me "knows" that my memories are real, and then at the same time I can't admit that they are.

Thank you so much.

Hi likam22,

Welcome. No one will be able to tell you if your memories reflect real events, but what you are describing about your early knowledge of sexuality as a child may be an indication that something inappropriate happened in the past. I also don't believe that people "make up" memories. If some images come to you, they have to be based on something. It is not a direct evidence that something happened, but something has to generate them, if not real events, then something in you that you are not aware of. I think, the best way to explore it is to talk to a professional.

WM