Hi.

Hi,

I was just wondering a few things, I've never really spoken about this thing before, but I have a few questions, I hope no minds me asking them.

How is sexual abuse defined? And if someone is drunk when they do a bad thing does that make it ok?

Im asking because something happened to me and I don't know if it was my fault or if the other person was wrong.

I'm finding this very hard o talk about, so I'm just going to leave it there.

Thanks for any help.

Hey Katrina

By law no means no... I think there are a lot of grey areas. Would it help to talk about it a little more? Feel free to pm me.

Hi Katrina

People need to consent to sexual things for them to be OK. If you are drunk you cant give informed consent. It sounds like this is really difficult for you. If you want to talk about it please feel free to PM me, or post here if you feel comfortable doing that.

Huge husg

Cracked

Thank you spike and cracked,

I don't really know how to talk about it, I think it was maybe my fault.

Hugs

Hi Katrina,
I'll join previous respondents in saying that it is hard to give a clear definition that would apply to every situation as many situations fall into a gray area. So, without knowing specifics of what happened to you, it's difficult for me to form any thoughts or opinion about it. I can just say that I see abuse as exploitation of the other person's vulnerability and this could manifest in thousands of different ways, so each situation is unique. I do though want to express compassion for your struggle and, if it could be of any help, to let you know that many people struggle when trying to assign responsibility fairly, so you are not alone in this. Take care.

Katrina-s,

Thanks for the question. It made me think.

My definition of no has now resolved itself into meaning. Stop! Go away and don't disturb me again before sunrise.

Putting anyone who tries again (regardless of the topic) in error.

If it's not to scary, I'd like to see your other questions. Whenever your ready.

Perhaps we (the members) can answer them

Another question I have is, what if you are asleep and you wake up to something happening that you don't want to be happening? Then if you ask what they are doing and tell them to go away, but they don't? But if you don't try to push them off you then could they think it was ok? Because I couldn't move, I was so scared I couldn't do anything. I just lay there and let it happen, so is it my own fault for not being stronger?

This is not your fault hon. A lot of ppl who are assaulted do not physically try to stop it but they indicate no - which is what you did. That does not mean you gave consent for what happened.

Huge hugs

Cracked

Katrina-s,

It is a known fact that females are not as strong as males.

As such you probably came out of the encounter as good as you could have been ......... had you fought you may well have injured........ And that would have been insult to injury

And I maintain that saying no means STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with Cracked's post you are not to blame.

Would you please post the entire encounter in your journal, so we ( the members) can offer a view (and probably comment) about the encounter as a whole. Not in pieces! Or do so here.