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My Abusive Babysitters

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My Abusive Babysitters

Postby Saturn » Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:17 am

Okay, this is the first time I've ever described any of this anywhere, even on the internet. That's why I must apologize for this long post. I've kept a lot inside for a long time. Just for the record, I'm 23 and male.

My parents were always reluctant to accept that I was mature enough to take care of myself. The first time I was allowed to stay home alone, even for one night, was when I was 16. And since they were socially active people with busy business schedules, they hired a LOT of babysitters. I mean, they could have hired one and stuck with them, but they knew how much I hated the whole situation so they thought it was the least they could do to hire a new one every couple of weeks, hoping they would stumble on one I actually liked. And I never liked any.

So between the ages of 4 and 16, I had so many teenage babysitters, boys and girls, that it was kind of statistically inevitable that one of them would be abusive. Actually, it wasn't one. It was five.

The first that I can remember was when I was around 6 or 7. The sitter was a girl, probably 14 or 15, but I can't really be sure. When you're 6 it's almost normal for a babysitter to degrade you by supervising your bathing and changing, so I won't fault her for that. Instead I fault her for her preferred punishment method: testicular pinching. She managed to get me naked for bath time, but I didn't want to get in the tub. So she showed me a pain I could never have imagined. My balls had barely dropped, and she held them between her thumb and forefinger like a vice grip. I know it doesn't necessarily count as sexual abuse, but I feel that same kind of violation when I look back on it.

The second instance of abuse was when I was 10. See, you'd think that as I got older, so would the people my parents hired too watch me while they were out. That wasn't exactly the case. When I was 10, they hired a boy who was only 13 to babysit me. I've seen this guy in more recent years and he's become kind of goth, and his metal band played at my high shcool once, which was a weird incident to say the least. I actually remember his name but I don't think I'll repeat it here. Anyway, this guy really didn't like me. My parents kept him on for close to a month because his rates were so low and because I SEEMED to be complaining less. The reality was that that I was reluctant to discuss my evenings with him at all.

Basically, I spoke my mind a lot and we tended to disagree. He left me alone to bathe and change, but he'd make me strip naked as punishment. He would make fun of the size of my dick, which I remembered thinking was weird because it had never occurred to me that a big penis was desirable thing. This sitter taught me about the mechanics of sex so I could better understand his insults. I actually started masturbating specifically because of my experience with him. One day I was feeling particularly defiant and I actually said "I bet my dick's bigger than yours." That was a mistake, because he proceeded to show me the difference between my 10 year old dick and a 13 year old one. He made sure I got the picture by making me give him a blow job, which became a recurring thing for as long as he was looking after me.

Then, when I was 12, the age thing went wildly out of control. My parents actually hired a girl my age, IN MY CLASS to babysit me. By that age I was complaining very loudly that I was too old for a babysitter, and I believe my mom was trying to show me that maturity and age were separate concepts by hiring someone the same age but more mature. THey assumed she was more mature because she was advertising her babysitting service.

This, incidentally, was when people at my school found out I still got babysat, which led to a lot of bullying. They found out because when they saw me and this girl walking home together, people asked if we were dating. Obviously I really was somehow immature because the girl was so mortified by the suggestion that she immediately told them all she was my babysitter. Just to make the point clearer, (and to indicate that it really was me she was embarrassed of, not the concept of dating) she started dating another guy in our class the next week.

My parents also kept this girl for close to a month because, even though I was complaining more than ever, they thought I could learn something. Here's what I learned: 12 year old professional babysitters traditionally babysit much younger children, and their skill sets are specified for younger children. So this girl my own age, who was dating a guy my own age, supervised my bathing and changing. I think she was excited to have that kind of control over someone her own age. She giggled whenever she saw me naked, and, of course, helped with the washing when I was in the bath. (showers were out of the question.) Because of the age at this point, I consider this molestation. Mercifully, the extent of that humiliation remained a secret more or less. The kids at school didn't seem to know about it, and I don't think she told her boyfriend.

After I turned 13, my parents made the decision that I would only have male babysitters from now one. At first I thought it was so I could have more of a mentor and less of a caregiver. My mom told me it was so I wouldn't have to change in frontof girls. I explained that i was way too old to change in front of ANY babysitter, but she just said "you never know".

What I should have explained is that teenage boys are the most likely demographic to be sexually abusive. I guess I hadn't quite figured that out, and I didn't want to drag that whole thing with the goth guy into the open.

Most of my babysitters from that point weren't so bad. Teenage boys are also a very lazy demographic, and most were content to watch tv or do homework while played games or something in my room. But three of them had other interests.

Shortly after I turned 14 I had this 15 year old sitter who can only be described as a loser and a stoner. He outright told me so, and offered to share with me since I was his meal ticket, but I declined. (I remained drug free till college, incidentally.) One day he walked in on me masturbating (I suspect that, despite his insistence that it was an accident, he was listening at the door to confirm what I was doing before he barged in. I tried to cover up, but he gave me some pretty cliche lines about how it's natural and normal it was. Then he whipped out his dick and insisted that we do it together. I had been doing it strictly by imagination, but this guy introduced me to the world of free internet porn. I was always uncomfortable doing things with him, but as always I had difficulty resusting and sort of played along. He insisted that we give each other hand jobs, and made me give him a blow job once.

Number 5 was also when I was 14. I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior.It was kind of a cliche jock/nerd bullying situation wildly out of control. He was a football player and he was huge and muscular, huge at least compared to me. It started when he asked me what sports I was interested in and I said none. He joked I deserved an old fashioned paddling, which I retorted to with some elitist comment about how dumb athletes were. He took personal offense and made good on the spanking threat. He spanked me over his knee, completely naked and didn't miss the chance to point out how small my dick was. That was the extent of the sexual abuse I received directly from him, but it wasn't the extend of what he did. He was a routine duration, only watched me 3 or 4 nights, but on two of them his girlfriend came over and they sent me to bed early so they could have loud, passionate sex in the living room. He joked that he was doing me a favor, since hearing them together was the closest I'd ever come to having sex with a woman.

It was more or less smooth sailing till I was 16 and I was finally mature enough to stay home alone. There was one close call when i was 15 and I was once again babysat by a classmate of mine. He joked that he was looking forward to spanking my naughty ass, but it was just a joke. He also sent to me to bed ridiculously early so he could be with his girlfriend, but he was much nicer about it. When she arrived, the three of us watched movies together. When he sent me to bed he apologized sincerely, explaining that the whole reason he took babysitting jobs was so he could be alone with her. I understood and went to bed. They were kind enough to keep it quiet too.

So that's my depressing history of sexual abuse. For a long time I've told myself not to worry about any of it because it's relatively tame. I see other stories on this forum about actual rape and incest, and I think how lucky I am that I was never anally raped, or taken advantage of when I was very young. That's how most babysitter experiences tend to go.

THanks for reading. It's been very cathartic getting this all out.
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Re: My Abusive Babysitters

Postby jasmin » Sat Jul 02, 2011 3:57 pm

Hi, Saturn! I'm sorry you went through that with your babysitters. No one has the right to abuse you. I have to say, your parents had a very strange attitude, maybe they were trying to humiliate you. Do you think there's a chance they knew what was going on?
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Re: My Abusive Babysitters

Postby CrackedGirl » Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:01 am

I am glad you are able to have got that out. You should not have had to go through this. I am sorry you did. Please keep posting for support. Thinking of you.

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Re: My Abusive Babysitters

Postby xio7child » Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:43 pm

Anyone who invades your space without your permission is considered harrassment and abuse. I know it might be difficult to report them. I am sorry you went through that. I am sure there are other guys who have been abused, it's just that the awareness is coming about that it happens to guys to, not just girls. Even if they are older, younger, or the same age as you. But nevertheless, an invasion of your personal space without your permission is disrespectful and it is considered abuse. And there are different levels of sexual abuse (even if they never touch you, it's only words, or even, believe it or not, a look- which I know can be difficult to prove but your gut will let you know). IF you are able to trust them, tell your folks. If they don't believe you, or you can't trust them yet, tell a counselor, support group, or a close friend who supports you. The more people are aware of the offenders, the less chance they are likely to do it again. It's okay to be angry about it too. It won't change the past, but you will be able to move forward with less fear. I will send good energies for your strength, for your fears to lower, and your silence to be broken.
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