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Me and my sister

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Me and my sister

Postby fps » Sat Feb 26, 2011 2:04 am

There are 4 years between myself and my little sister. When she was around 8 or 9 (and I was 12 or 13) we "experimented" a little bit. There was never any penetration or anything seriously sexual. There was some kissing of private parts, but that was about it. I was just experiencing puberty at the time and really didn't have much of a clue what was going on , but I'm wondering if my sister might harbour some resentment towards me for what happened. I never forced her to do anything. We have a friendly relationship to this day but obviously there's never any mention of what we did all those years ago.

So my first question is obviously: Did I molest my sister? Or is this more common than I know?

My other problem, is that I've become very attracted to my sister. She's a beautiful girl who has a lovely personality. I know that nothing can ever happen between us and I really don't know what to do. I'm aware that there isn't a way that I can be with her in that way, I'm just wondering if some other members have found themselves in a similar situation and how they've dealt with it.

Thanks.
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Re: Me and my sister

Postby jasmin » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:02 pm

Hi! Your sister was 4 years younger than you and a kid... That means that, compared to you, she didn't know enough to be able to consent. Maybe she doesn't hate you. If you feel attracted to her, you should have some therapy. Maybe you will find the strength to sincerely apologize to her so that she can get some help too, if she needs it.
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Re: Me and my sister

Postby Damien42 » Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:49 am

It sounds like you are having trouble facing the obvious - yes you did molest your sister. She was four years younger, therefore it was an obvious abuse of power on your part. You are her brother, therefore you betrayed her implicit trust in you. She was 9, therefore she could not be consenting. You should be careful about using words like "we" and the nature of your abuse of her being not serious or innocent. You should be big enough to face the truth - you abused your power, betrayed her trust and turned her from your innocent blameless younger sister into a vehicle for your entirely self absorbed sexual experiments that had nothing to do with her or her feelings. Do you think fellatio is an innocent experience for an entirely pre pubescent girl, to say nothing of the incest that you introduced without her consent onto her life. You manipulated your relationship with her to gratify yourself sexually. I think you would be surprised about just how much resentment your sister holds against you. I would not be surprised if she has very strong negative feelings for you. But, of course, the effect of abuse is a basic inability to have a voice in regard to what is happening to ones own body and life. You isolated her from the rest of the family and had your way. I would suggest writing a letter to her offering your sincerest apologies and take one hundred percent responsibility for what you did. As well, I would suggest that you tell her that you will not reviolate her boundaries again by telling anyone what you did in relation to her. Give her the opportunity to think and feel about her experience and she can decide who, when and why to disclose. You obviously need therapy if you are attracted to your sister. Frankly, you have a great deal to feel ashamed of. Your sisters so-called lovely personality probably has more to do with her inability to assert herself in relationships. A natural ability you no-doubt seriously compromised. Get real. Your actions were clearly wrong and predatory. But, in the absence of your sisters ability to defend herself , you probably will continue deluding yourself that it had somehing to do with familial love. Which it never did. Something you know. I would suggest you get your head right before contributing again to this forum.
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