Masterbating in Bed with brother and mother

Due to our economic state, my brother, mother, and I used to share a bed. When i discovered to masterbate, around 12-13(i'm not entirely sure when this happened), i used to masterbate very secretley and quietly next to them, which means I would masturbated very slowly. I slept on the extreme far end of a king or queen size bed. I don't remember if i ever ejaculated in bed. i would go to the bathroom and do this. I know this is wrong, but i don't know what i should do about it. I am now 22. And this is the biggest shame in my life. I woke my brother once doing it. I feel so depressed writing this and do not know where to turn for help. I have my own bed and masterbate in private now.

I should also mention, since I think this is extremely relevant, my father was not in the picture around this time because he was in jail for molesting my aunt, who is four years older than me. He did not molest her during this time period, but when I was about 2 or 3 and my aunt was around 7 or 8 my dad used to molest my aunt or molested her once. My parents where going through a divorce, and my aunt must have repressed the whole indecent until the divorce.

Do you guys believe that the latter paragraph is an explanation for the former?
Am I making a big deal out of this issue, can this just be seen as a comedic moment in my life, illustrating my innocence. Or this a issue that will eventually affect my life.

To be honest. I seldom think about this now, but when It does come up, i feel pretty bummed and ashamed.

Gallantrider, you didn't hurt any one so I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. It was just part of growing up.
I'm sorry your father molested your aunt. Do you think he might have hurt your or your brother too, or why do you think it relates to what you used to do as a kid?

I guess I think it relates to what I used to do as a kid because I've always heard that unhealthy masturbation is the cause of a traumatic event, i.e in this case, my parents divorce and discovering my father had molested someone. Also, I don't think my father used to molest my brother. When I wrote that I woke my brother once doing it, I meant that I woke him up because I was slightly shaking the bed during masturbating. I wasn't waking him up physically or telling him to wake up.

Thank you so much for understanding and for your comment. It has brought a world of ease to me.

Well, I don't think it was unhealthy necessarily, you were just a kid who didn't know a lot about this stuff.
It sucks that you had that man for a father, but you're still a good person.

You should not feel any bad about that you did that time in the common bed. It was just normal, all young males would have done it almost the same way, if they had had to sleep in the same bed with his mother and brother. E.g. at that special age when boys start to masturbate, for a time I had to sleep in the same *room* with my mother. And yes, I m sure, she could hear that, time to time I was masturbating in the dark under my blanket. Few times she even made some notes on that she realized that what I was doing, bur she knew also that this is normal. So stop to feel anything about your past. You have a life now, live that, and not your past days.

well, that attitude can still be corrected with a little and calm chat with your family. Not by force as you see it may trigger another emotional problems if your parents would put you down..after all we are just human...we can forgive