Is this incest or abuse?

I guess I should start this off with some background information. This happened very recently and I didn't know where else to turn or vent to. I'm 16 and my half-brother has been in and out of prison, so I've only just recently reconnected with him. Well we have been texting and on Christmas Eve he stated that he was drinking and then sent me a picture of his dick asking my opinion on it. I was shocked and told him I didn't think he should've sent that to me. He apologized and then quickly changed the subject. This was yesterday. I don't know if it's abuse or not and I know it isn't hardly as bad as many other people's problems but I feel violated and dirty and upset, and I don't know what to do. Could someone please help me?

Dear sosasouth:

i am sorry that you received such an unpleasant "gift" from your half brother ... on Christmas Eve. Of course, this "gift" is completely inappropriate. Your shock and discomfort is understandable, valid. You don't expect that from a brother and shouldn't expect it from anyone unless you ask for it or agree for it before time, be it Christmas or at any other day of the year.

You asked if it is incest- it belongs in that category, of course. Is it sexual abuse, yes, I believe it belongs in that category as well. It was a one way incest/ sexual abuse, him sending you a photo and you could not have anticipated or prevented it. You had no choice. The choice was his.

What do you do after this, after sending him a reply that it was not appropriate? It is up to you: it will be completely appropriate for you to have no contact with him, for a while or forever, for how long you want. You always have this choice. You may refuse to open any photos from him in the future, otherwise. You may continue cautious communication with him and stop it if and when he repeats this kind of behavior, that is any sexual behavior toward you.

You may stop contact temporarily, taking a break until you relax, calm and figure out what to do.

In whichever case, I strongly believe that IF you continue contact with her, that you should have a serious conversation with him about what happened, ask him what motivated him to do that, ask him questions about what he believes is appropriate and what is not, notice if he is honest with you, if he takes responsibility for his actions or blames you or others for his actions today. Based on such conversation or conversations, I would, if I was you, decide if and what contact to have with him in the future.

atina

@Anita

Thank you very much! I didn't know what to do or what to even start with. My mother was no help and I'm appreciative of this information.

You are welcome. Often enough mothers are of no help... and often enough they are part of the problem and not the solution, this is my experience. Post anytime on this thread and I will respond.

atina (real name is anita)

Is there more back story? I am so sorry, I would lose his phone number and company if u haven't already.