DATING A RAPE VICTIM HOW CAN I COPE?

Hello everyone my name is Tirla, This is my story.I met this awesome girl we got to know each other and made up.Its been 5months now we are together.Everything was cool at first then i started realising she got weird behaviours like she sometimes screams at me to go away then cries i should stay.Okay i always saw in her phone a contact labeled serge<3 they talked on the phone everyday even laughed and made fun i aske lots of time who this was and she said just a random guy she met "we just flirted nothing more" her words.Then one faithful day after one of her weirdos behaviour i demanded to know whats wrong with her after lot of crying and hesitation she told me she went on vacation to Gabon to her uncle and he rape her for 3months. I was devastated held her close first time i hear some $#%^ like that to cut story short she lied to me first when she told me.that story she said his name was "Richard" another time she said "Morris".One faithful day a guy called me asking me about my gf then he drops.We went for a weeknd at the beach she left her phone behind i called the serge<3 and realised it was the guy who called me he started telling me he has been dating my girl for the last couple of years to cut things short he is the one that abused of my girl and she told me he did that twice and both times she felt pregnant and aborted and he threatens to tell her mom.This guy is 35 i am 23 my gf is 19 he is still in contact with her i told her to end it but she told me he keeps calling and even if she changes numbers he always find a way to get her new num.Now we dont have a sex life not that i mind and she is far from caring with me she says she is trying but i see nothing we dont go on dates i have sacrificed everything for her my bank acct is low cuz i always try to please her not that i mind .Right now as i write this i dont know what to think or what to believe i do love her but i sincerely think she is not worth it at this point i just wanna move on.Plus she does not even wanna work with a therapist. SOMEONE PLZ HELP IM EVEN TIRED OF TYPING...

Welcome to the forums. I am sorry for what has happened. Sounds like you love her. I would require her to be in therapy. When she is comfortable you can hang with her to heal together in therapy. If she is not willing you just have to be the bigger person and move on. Look at all you have committed and she doesn't love you enough to go to therapy to be a better healed person. There is something wrong with that you know that right? Just consider that statement... Best of luck.

Thanks for your reply.She tried and quit at the third session and there is nothing i will do that will make her do it.I wanna leave her but how can i? I love her .She is still in contact with that guy he calls her all the time when im around she dont pick up but when im not well i see the call logs sometimes she even deletes them.How can she get control ànd heal properly if the rapist is still in her life.Rightnow she doesnt talk much to me even when i call she is quite i do all the talking i cant even make her laugh.She will ne rather out drinking with friends and flirting with other guys .I really wanna move on i dont just know how i have given up so much i feel like its all for nothing if i go

Oh okay, well just really think about it. When you get tired you will leave hopefully or maybe things will improve. Is that her Uncle she still has a relationship with that raped her? I mean maybe she is holding on to the good person he sometimes is? Try to encourage therapy again if things get worst. It takes two just try and support her best you can.

Its not the uncle that assaulted her but that serge guy