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Copying/Fear of Being Copied

Open Discussions about Self Esteem and Related Issues

Copying/Fear of Being Copied

Postby wfalma » Wed Jan 27, 2016 11:09 pm

I was hoping someone could lend some insight on the topic of copying and fearing being copied. This seems more prominent in children and teens, but I've witnessed it among adults as well.

Many people talk about being upset that someone else is copying them. While it is not good to copy others, I find it also odd to be preoccupied or deeply bothered if someone else copies you, or at least it is perceived that way.

My daughter was playing with some friends, all around the ages of 6-8. They were talking about their favorite colors. One girl said her favorite color was pink, and when another girl said that her favorite color was also pink, it really upset the other girl. She accused her of copying, said she couldn't like the same color, and when the other girl kept insisting she just likes pink, no copying involved, the other girl changed her favorite color to blue instead.

I've seen similar situations spanning different ages. Even an adult woman I know was upset that her friend was pregnant at the same time she was. She seemed to think that the other friend was only pregnant because she was. It was as though she felt pregnancy and child bearing was something only she should be able to do. It all reminds me of a part in Mean Girls where a girl says no one else can wear hoop earrings because they are "her thing".

I am not a psychologist so I don't know what exactly is at play here. It seems rooted in some form of insecurity, but it's an issue I don't understand very well. Being copied is a common annoyance it seems, but some people seem to be a bit hyper vigilant with worry about others "copying" their identity or personality. If you are around a person who is making claims that you cannot like or do certain things simply because they do them, even if you're not trying to copy them, you just genuinely share an interest, what is the best way to work it out without just avoiding the person altogether? Also, is there a name for this type of behavior? I have been trying to read about it but all I find are issues about someone being a copycat, rather than a person bossing other people around because they feel no one else is allowed to have a skill/interest/trait etc. that they seem to feel territorial about.

I hope I explained that clearly enough, sorry if it took me a long time to make my point. Thanks in advance for anyone who will provide some more insight on this behavior.
wfalma
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