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do you live alone?

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do you live alone?

Postby Auxiliary11 » Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:40 pm

(F) Interpersonally Secretive (e.g., prefers privacy and isolation, with few highly tentative attachments and personal obligations; has drifted over time into increasingly peripheral vocational roles and clandestine social activities).

Would you feel anxious and uncomfortable with an unknown person sharing your living space?
self dx. pdd-nos (level 1); covert narcissism w/ avoidant traits; social phobia; inertia.

INFP; dismissive/fearful-avoidant & highly sensitive person

"Life, a sexually transmitted, terminal disease."
"you built up a world of magic, because your real life is tragic"
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby Utena » Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:24 pm

I've lived with my boyfriend for 6 years, but before that I HAD to live alone. I had a terrible experience with a roommate before. Freshman year of college, all students were required to live in dorms to help us socialize. :shock: I had a roommate and about 10 girls sharing a common area. Every day was torture, just having so many people around, never a minute of solitude, not even in the shared bathroom. I was so excited to go to a good school and be placed in the gifted dorm, only to find out I couldn't hack it. They were nice people, but it was just so stressful and exhausting having to navigate so many social interactions and new people without a break. My roommate was very preppy, and after I did some weird stuff (died my hair purple, came out as bi, dated a man in his 40s) she just refused to talk to me. Answered me only with one syllable for months, no matter how nice I was. Like I was invisible. Every day was stressful. We had a few interventions and the RA let me switch to another dorm. I think the dorm system was a big part of the downward spiral that led to me dropping out as a freshman. When I returned, I decided to live alone no matter what, and it helped tremendously. Sure, I probably acted stranger than if I had a roomie, but the ability to have "down time" to recover from socializing was a huge help to me. I lived alone for 4 years, it took a few months to get used to but after that I loved it. Now we live out in the country, and the "isolation" helps me. No half-heard conversations and random people and noise around all the time like in the city. Just Nature.
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby 1PolarBear » Wed Oct 26, 2016 1:15 pm

In the long run, yeah. Does not matter if the person is known or not. Besides, do you ever truly know someone?
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby guantanamo » Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:30 am

I lived in a dorm for a year. It was fun the first few months, we had private rooms and bathrooms and a common lounge and kitchen, but it went to hell when a homophobic muslim moved in and tore down the pride-flag that had been on the wall for like 5 years. It was also horrible to share kitchen with a bunch of slobs like that. But I made some friends and wasn't too isolated which was nice, but dorm-life isn't my cup of tea. So now I live with my best friend and a cat in a small apartment, and it works because they're kinda schizo too so we know each others boundaries intuitively, and we can talk about things and understand each other very well. I couldn't live this intimately with anyone else probably.
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby naps » Sun Nov 13, 2016 9:15 pm

Auxiliary11 wrote:Would you feel anxious and uncomfortable with an unknown person sharing your living space?


Yes. Intolerable doesn't even begin to describe what it would be like. It would cease to be my living space.

OneRinger wrote:In the long run, yeah. Does not matter if the person is known or not. Besides, do you ever truly know someone?


No. Most people need to cling to the illusion that they do.
Nobody truly knows me. I suppose I am okay with that, however I wonder if that will change when death looms near...
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby BornInWinter » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:32 am

I don't, currently, I live with two roommates. Before that I lived with one and before that I lived with three. I'm starting to realize that I find living with other people insufferable, because no matter how polite and respectful they try to be, there's always something else that's bothersome. My current roommates are complete and utter slobs, which essentially leaves me to clean up all the time. I don't mind a little bit of mess or clutter, but when things get out of hand my anxiety spikes. Not to mention my current roommates are loud and noisy, I can't handle it.

My previous roommate was somewhat of a nightmare because, while he's my best friend of many years, he made me spend all kinds of time with him. Even if I explained to him that I was feeling particularly reclusive and needed to be alone, he'd guilt trip me into hanging out with him and it just pissed me off. There was no winning for either of us because he needed to be around other people or else he felt like everyone hated him, and I just wanted to be left alone.

My roommates before that were pretty wild and crazy, always having guests over, being loud, making a mess of the house. That was before I started losing my mind (I was pretty young back then), so it wasn't too bad back then, but nowadays, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I'm currently looking into just getting an apartment... by myself. Roommates stress me out to no end.
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby NoEmotions » Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:31 pm

Yes. I have not had any friends in over 12 years. It is beyond my understanding how anyone with diagnosed schizotypal pd can manage to have friends that are friends in the most literal sense.
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby Oddy » Fri Dec 09, 2016 10:17 am

NoEmotions wrote:Yes. I have not had any friends in over 12 years. It is beyond my understanding how anyone with diagnosed schizotypal pd can manage to have friends that are friends in the most literal sense.


What do you consider to be friends of a literal sense? Just wondering because people may differ on what a friend means to them.

I live with my dog. I find it rather difficult to try to keep up with people socially. I am naturally an extrovert though in the Jungian sense. When I have had good levels of energy and mood in the past, I really like socializing. Usually online games because the social rules are easier and it's easier to find people who can enjoy my... quirkiness. But it'd be pretty hard for me to live with someone else and I have no idea who would ever want or be able to tolerate me as a roomate, or if I'd want someone who could to be my roomate xD
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby lonelydaydream » Thu Dec 15, 2016 12:23 am

There's no way I could share my space with an unknown person - I would feel on edge the entire time! When I went to uni I had to share a room with another girl for the first year & it really stressed me out (looking back, I don't think she enjoyed it much either tbh!)

However, I did manage to live happily with my lovely, late husband for 13 years - I could just relax and be myself with him! I can't imagine many people would put up with me on a 24/7 basis lol!
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." Mother Juliana of Norwich, 15th century.
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Re: do you live alone?

Postby warabou » Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:19 am

Helllll no. I didn't even consider dorms for my first year away at college. I moved into a one bedroom apartment with one of my best friends--and even *that* was too hard. I hated feeling paranoid and claustrophobic living with my best friend, but I realized I really need to at least have my own room. I think optimal would be my own house, because even having an apartment/shared walls makes me anxious.
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